Make Me Bleed
by Shuriken to the face
Summary: Deidara is injured...This is extreme Yaoi. You have been warned. Sasodei. Now a series.
1. Make Me Bleed

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

This may be a two-shot...depends on what people think of it...

**Make Me Bleed**

Deidara bit down on his lip hard and tightly shut his eyes, praying that his Danna would not notice the effect his ministrations had on him. He was not ashamed of his tendencies, but could not bear to see his Danna look at him with disgust. He opened his right eye slightly to gaze down at Sasori roughly but diligently working.

Sasori threaded a fresh needle and began to work on sewing the deeper lacerations covering Deidara's body. He gave the task his full attention as he pushed the needle hard through his partner's flesh, glancing up to see Deidara with his eyes shut and an expression of pure ecstasy on his face. Sasori was taken by surprise at Deidara's reaction, the sight was the most erotic he had ever seen and if he could he would have preserved it forever as the ultimate art. Never taking his eyes off Deidara's face, Sasori tightened his grip painfully around the blonds' upper arm and dug the needle down much further and harder into the flesh. Deidara bit through his lower lip at the unexpected sensation and looked directly at his partner, lust evident in his visible eye.

Sasori took this as his cue and forced his fingertips into one of the other wounds, forcing the flesh to tear further. His young partner threw his head back as he gasped in pain and pleasure. The puppet-master felt for the first time in his life desire as he watched Deidara. He pushed the blond forcefully down onto his bed and straddled his waist, taking a kunai from his holster. He used the razor sharp blade to cut further into Deidara's flesh as the blond alternated between moaning in ecstasy and gasping in pain.

If it weren't for the pain Deidara would have believed he was dreaming. He had fantasised over the thought of this exquisite torture countless times, willing his Danna to cut him and hurt him after every fight, to tend his battle wounds while creating new ones. He looked straight at his Danna as he took the kunai Sasori was using to his lips, running his tongue along the blood-covered blade, cutting it, creating more of that delicious red liquid all the while never breaking the eye contact with his Danna.

Watching the blood run freely from Deidara's lips as the blond laughed in pleasure, Sasori would have admitted then and there that art was transient in its nature. Sasori had long thought himself incapable of human feelings and had believed that he would never experience desire, lust, or love as payment for his immortality. But seeing Deidara writhing beneath him slick with sweat and blood he knew that he had always been capable of those emotions.

"_Danna…hurt me, torture me, make me bleed, please,_" Deidara whispered.


	2. A Gift, Sasori no Danna?

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

I've decided to make this into a series of loosely related oneshots and mini-fics.

"**A Gift, Sasori no Danna?"**

The defined muscles in his arms and shoulders were beautifully displayed by the position he was held in. Blood trickled from the deepest cuts, tiny red rivers running down his back and legs, dripping on the floor. The blond hair had turned the colour of Sasori's own around the edges, where it had trailed in his lacerated flesh. Sasori stared, hungrily drinking in the sight as he worked. It was magnificent. _He _was.

* * *

"_Deidara."_

"…_un?"_

"_I have a…present…for you."_

"_A gift, Sasori no Danna? What is it, un?"_

"_It's in here." Sasori held up a scroll. Deidara reached for it, and Sasori quickly moved it out of his reach. "No, no. Close your eyes." Deidara did as he was told._

_Feeling chakra strings attaching to his body, Deidara opened his eyes and looked at Sasori archly, raising an eyebrow._

_Sasori smirked and used the strings to walk Deidara down to the small chambers where prisoners were held and interrogated. He chose an empty one farthest away from the rest of the rooms and entered it, taking his partner in with him and making him walk into the centre of the room. And remove every stitch of clothing he was wearing._

"_What __**are**__ you going to do with me, Danna?" Deidara chuckled, as his hands undid his pants apparently of their own accord._

_Sasori remained silent, suppressing a sudden urge to rush over and screw his now naked partner senseless. He could do that later. This wasn't the time. Instead, he turned Deidara around so his back was to the puppet master, and he faced the far wall. It removed a little of the temptation._

_Deidara felt the strings manipulating him once more, making him walk right up to the wall until he was touching it. His arms were raised up, above his head, higher and higher. Now he could just barely stand on his toes if he stretched …_

_And then Sasori was__** there**__ and the chakra strings were gone and Deidara's wrists were locked in the shackles that bound prisoners to the wall._

"_Now I __**really**__ want to know what you've got in that scroll, un," the blond murmured into the stone, smiling, eyes closed. Sasori licked at his partner's neck and was rewarded with a hitched breath. Still not speaking, he retreated to the other side of the chamber and got out the scroll. Deidara could hear when his Danna had released its contents, but no matter how hard he tried to turn his head he couldn't see what they were._

_Sasori took hold of the handle and considered the 'gift' for a moment. He adjusted his stance and grip, lifted his arm, aimed and threw it forward._

'_CRACK!'_

_Deidara gasped as a livid red streak instantly appeared across his back. It felt __**incredible.**_

_Sasori raised the bullwhip again._

* * *

The huge whip landed once more, slicing into the bruised, tender flesh. Again Deidara cried out at the unbearable combination of pain and pleasure, moaning into the cool stone wall. It was just too good. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. Part of him was longing for release, but another part never wanted this torture to end.

"Sasori? Leader-sama wishes to speak with you."

"So you'd better shift your arse… What the fuck is going on here?"

Both the explosives user and the puppet master inwardly cursed. They had company, namely Kisame and Hidan.

Sasori ignored the visitors and turned back to what he had been doing before he was so rudely interrupted. Deidara didn't trust himself to be able to speak.

"Oi, Sasori! Are you…" Hidan abruptly cut off his sentence when Deidara let out an uncontrollable, breathless moan as Sasori struck him again. He wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

Kisame tactfully left, but Hidan lingered.

Sasori aimed and let the whip fly. When Deidara felt its burning sting he cried out desperately. He was so close, he needed it so badly he was almost sobbing into the wall.

"I will meet Leader-sama after I have dealt with this disobedient. Insolent. _Brat_," he replied, punctuating his words with quick, powerful lashes of the whip. Deidara screamed like an animal.

Those last three strokes had finished him, sending him plunging over the edge.

Hidan looked on dispassionately as the blond's body shuddered in the chains. Sasori gave no indication as to his feelings, but was inwardly enjoying the sight.

Finally Deidara's body hung bonelessly in his chains, exhausted. Sasori crossed the room and unlocked him. The ex-Iwa nin slumped to his knees on the ground, and the redhead crouched in front of him. Deidara looked up through his fringe at his Danna, and began to laugh breathlessly.

"Sasori no Danna…that was…wow…" he said quietly.

"Am I to take it you liked your present then?" Sasori smirked.

"Yeah, un."

"I'll have to go to Leader-sama now."

"Don't be too long. I have wounds on my back that need…_attention_, un," said Deidara, with that wonderful slightly twisted grin he had.

Sasori kissed him briefly, then stood up and left the room.

Deidara crawled the short distance to his clothes and used his shirt to clean himself off, just leaving the mess he'd made on the wall. He dragged his pants and shoes on, managed to stand on still-shaky legs and walked out of the door past Hidan.

"I didn't know you had that in you. You have got to think about converting," Hidan said, an unusual note of admiration in his voice.

"For the last time no."

"Are you sure? Jashinism would be perfect for you, I mean it."

Deidara paused. "Doesn't your religion forbid sexually pleasurable acts with non-priests?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"Fuck that."


	3. It Hurts

Mature sexual content and yaoi. Sasodei.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I tell you!

**It Hurts**

****

Sasori looked around disinterestedly at the scene of carnage before him. They had been ambushed by ANBU, around twenty of them. Now the forest floor was littered with their dead or dying bodies. Amongst the rasping pleas for help and gurgling sounds of people drowning in their own blood, Sasori heard the distinct giggling laugh of his partner. Smirking, he followed the sound to find his partner lying in a deep pool of his own blood surrounded by exploded corpses, unidentifiable body parts and lumps of flesh. Deidara turned his head at the sound of his partner approaching, smiling genuinely when he saw the redhead.

"Danna, un…it hurts," he tried to laugh, but ended up coughing up blood. Sasori's gaze turned to one of lust when he saw the blood run down that perfect face. He slowly walked over to Deidara, then knelt down beside the blond, lovingly brushing the hair out of his face before claiming those blood-stained lips in a passionate kiss. Sasori ran his hands over his immobile partner's body, feeling his wounds: a kunai through the left shouder; slash wounds from a katana down the left side of his body; a dislocated right hip and shoulder; one broken elbow; his right tibia broken and sticking out through his leg; and deep kunai cuts all over his body. The blood had soaked through his torn cloak and fishnet and was now leaking into Sasori's clothes. Running his hands over and through his partner's wounds was an incredible turn-on for the redhead. So to it seemed, for the blond. Deidara was moaning in ecstasy, attempting to move beneath his partner to bring their bodies closer together. Sasori broke the kiss and sat back, drawing a kunai out of his cloak.

"Stay still…" with that he manoeuvred Deidara's arms above his head and stabbed the kunai through where his partner's forearms crossed, pinning both his arms to the blood soaked earth beneath him.

"DANNA!" Deidara screamed in that perfect pain before Sasori claimed his lips once more in a tender, loving kiss. They broke apart, eyes clouded over with lust. Never breaking eye contact, Sasori lowered himself down his partner's body, using one hand to pull the blond's trousers down far enough to free his bloody erection. His eyes still on the blond's, Sasori took Deidara's hard cock in his mouth, instantly deep-throating his partner, using his lips and teeth on the blond and blood as a lubricant, allowing Deidara's length to slide easier down his throat.

"Danna…so good…." Deidara moaned, his visible eye now closed. Sasori caressed the blond's sides as he continued to pleasure him with his mouth, occasionally dipping his fingers into deep cuts and gashes. His partner's breath was now coming in ragged gasps, Deidara having some trouble breathing from the blood running down his throat. The blond cried out as his orgasm approached, fighting to move his arms and entangle his hands in the redhead's hair.

"Ahh! Danna I'm so close…please…" Sasori smirked round the blond's length as he heard the breathless plea. He knew what to do to tip his partner over the edge. He removed one hand from its place on Deidara's hip to hold the kunai that was buried deep in the blond's shoulder. In one swift movement he pushed the kunai right through his partner and twisted. He could feel it grinding against bone. Deidara's eye shot wide open as he screamed and came in Sasori's mouth. Sasori lost no time in capturing the blond's lips in a breathless kiss, Deidara hungrily licking and swallowing his own cum.

Sasori broke the kiss to look down at Deidara. The blond was as white as a ghost now from the blood loss and had begun to slip in and out of consciousness. The redhead frowned as he stood up. Perhaps he had been too selfish in his desire while Deidara had been in such bad condition. He picked his partner up bridal style.

* * *

By the time Sasori made it back to the base Deidara's pulse had slowed to almost nothing. 'Shit…'

Sasori took his partner straight to the medical facilities where the blond was hooked up to machines monitoring his heart rate and a blood transfusion system. Sasori stood back and watched as the subordinates who had some medical training worked on patching the blond up. He had the same uncaring expression as usual.

"Did you two run into trouble on the way back or did you just stop off somewhere for sex?" Hidan had seen Sasori carrying the blond to the medical bay and decided to see what was going on. Sasori didn't take his eyes off the blond as he replied,

"A bit of both."

Hidan glanced sideways at Sasori, "You should be careful. One day, you'll go too far…" With that Hidan turned and left, unaware of the turmoil of emotions Sasori was facing as he watched his partner.


	4. No Time

**A/N:** Just some information that might help when reading this part. To my mind Sasori **can** sense touch, and also because of this, while not having the proper anatomy for ejaculation like most males, he can experience orgasm through certain stimulation. Both of these thoughts are for reasons we won't go into because I will end up rambling and it is not relevant to your understanding of the fic.

**Disclaimer: **Naruto does not blasted belong to me!

**No Time**

Deidara sometimes wondered, what was this thing he and Sasori had? It didn't seem like a proper relationship, but they weren't really friends either, were they? Certainly they weren't only partners. Were they just using each other? Was it some kind of mutually beneficial, unspoken agreement that they did those things? What sort of feelings did Sasori have for him, if any? What were his feelings about the redhead, and about the whole situation?

It all got very confusing if Deidara thought about it too much, and it made his head hurt, not in a good way. So he preferred not to think about it if he could help it, and mostly whatever happened between them he just went with it, trying not to let anything get to him. Right now, he couldn't think on the situation anyway. He had to pay attention to these idiots.

* * *

They had been on surveillance all day, hidden together in a tiny hollow in the middle of a patch of thick bushes. The targets were high-level shinobi doing secret training just outside a civilian village. They weren't quite in the same league as their hidden watchers, but this was strictly an observation mission. They were not to engage in combat unless attacked, and not to draw attention to themselves unnecessarily.

As he wasn't anticipating any need to fight, Sasori had left Hiruko in his scroll. It was also difficult to hide adequately with the large, bulky puppet.

Deidara was kneeling on the hard earth. He'd long since stopped concentrating on watching the unsuspecting shinobi's movements. The close proximity to Sasori no Danna was slowly driving him mad with desire, and sharp stones digging into his knees did nothing to suppress his overactive imagination. His pants had grown painfully tight, suffocating. Trying to get more comfortable and regain his focus, he shifted position. It didn't help, as the stones cut into his knees, breaking skin and with that and the friction the movement created in his groin he had to stop himself whimpering with need.

One of the shinobi threw a shuriken and the small, sharp weapon flew into the bush where the two Akatsuki members were concealed. For fear of discovery, both men suppressed the instinct to move. The shuriken skimmed Deidara's cheek, making a shallow cut. The sensation was absolute torture. He shut his eyes and tried his hardest to hold in a small, gasping moan. It came out as a squeak. Sasori gave his partner a sidelong glare, instantly on full alert in case the ninja had noticed the noise. Luckily they hadn't heard it over the sound of one of their number shouting an order.

At long last the daylight began to fade and the shinobi they were watching left. Thankful, Deidara was about to get up, but then Sasori informed him in a whisper that they would stay for another half an hour to be sure the coast was clear.

After twenty minutes the blond began to fidget. Sasori glanced at him and frowned. His partner ought to know better, be able to stay still when the situation called for it. Sighing, Sasori relented and got out of the bush, Deidara following. He was a little grateful that Sasori had apparently not noticed his expression, and that the loose Akatsuki coat hid the other evidence of his arousal. If Sasori no Danna had known he would probably have been angry at Deidara's lack of discipline as to allow himself to lose focus, thus jeopardising a mission, and would have punished the blond. Then again…

Determinedly shoving the thoughts out of his head once more Deidara began to follow his redheaded partner back to the inn where they were staying, trying to ignore the painful throbbing in his neglected erection. He removed his coat as they walked and draped it over his arm; it was against the rules but this evening was really too warm for such clothing.

Sasori had actually noticed the desire on his partner's face, but he chose not to react. Unlike some, he could keep control of himself when necessary. He walked through the streets, trying to remember all the twists and turns that led back to their inn. It was quite unusual for them to stay in a hostelry while on a mission. Normally they would just camp, but for this mission it was decided that proper accommodation would make them less conspicuous amongst other visitors to the area and reduce the chances of being discovered by the shinobi they were observing. The redhead turned down a narrower alley leading off the one he was in. Now they had to walk in single file, the puppet master leading. About halfway along Deidara let out a soft cry and Sasori stopped short, quickly turning to face his partner.

Whether it happened by accident, or whether it was unconsciously or consciously deliberate, no one could tell. The fact was the blond had somehow cut his arm and face open on a broken bottle protruding from a bin in the alley, adding to the shuriken wound he had received earlier. He was standing there in the alley, Akatsuki coat dropped to the ground, staring at Sasori with an expression the puppet master couldn't quite read in the dim light as blood ran down his cheek, neck and arm.

Sasori moved the few steps towards his partner, stopping just a little too near to him, and saw the look on his face. He dipped a finger in the scarlet wetness dribbling down Deidara's face and brought it to his mouth. Slowly, sensuously, he licked it off, looking up into the blond's eye.

Deidara's blue eye was a pool of pure, distilled lust. His lips were slightly parted, and he was breathing heavily. The blond and the redhead gradually inched closer and closer towards one another until at last only their lips touched softly.

The kiss was gentle at first, both sinking into it and holding each other close, but then their tongues met and it quickly grew passionate, fierce. They stumbled into the wall, kissing hard, desperately. Hands were everywhere, clutching greedy handfuls of hair, slipping under clothes, running across backs, down sides and over buttocks. Deidara could taste his Danna and himself mixed together, and it made his head spin.

Sasori moaned, "We should…get back…" as Deidara licked and sucked at his neck, sending electric waves of pleasure through him.

"No time," gasped the blond, kissing him again and grinding his hips against his Danna's.

Swiftly regaining his usual dominance, Sasori shoved Deidara into the wall and turned him around. He unfastened his coat, finishing what his partner had started. It hung open around the pair, shielding them from view.

Deidara gulped in much-needed air and clawed at the wall, trying to find a grip. He leant forward and put most of his weight on his forearms, burying his face in one arm.

* * *

'_Yes, Deidara?'_

'_Have you ever been in love, un?'_

'_What makes you ask that?'_

'_No reason. Just, have you, un?'_

'_Yes, I have.'_

'_What was it like, un? How did you know you were in love?'_

'_It's difficult to explain…but when you are, you'll know.'_

* * *

While the memory inexplicably flashed through Deidara's mind, the redhead partly uncoiled the thick cable in his abdomen, quickly removing the attached blade from the end. Holding the blade in his teeth, he ripped the blond's pants down far enough to gain access.

Deidara shivered at the sensation of cool night air on his overheated skin, anticipating what was about to happen. Sasori transferred the blade to his hand, and slowly started to drag it up the inside of Deidara's thighs. The blond moaned with pleasure and the need for more, gasping when he felt the blunt end of the cable nudging against his entrance, trying to push back onto it. He couldn't wait. Sasori placed his other hand on the younger man's lower back and gently but firmly held him still. He tormented him for a few more seconds, trailing the sharp blade up and around his hips and lower stomach. Then suddenly he pushed the cable inside him. No prep, just the way the blond liked it.

Deidara cried out helplessly when he felt the penetration he craved. The delicate skin tore and slippery blood coated the cable, acting as a lubricant. In that moment he knew. He knew what being in love felt like. Then Sasori's thrusts found that sweet, hot spot inside him and he dropped his hand to the blond's aching, dripping cock, and Deidara didn't know anything anymore. They were lost in a blinding white blur of lust, sex and pleasure.

It was only seconds until wonderful, terrible ecstasy overtook Deidara. The release he had needed for it seemed like forever hit him like a freight train and he bit down on his arm to muffle his cries of pleasure, but that only intensified the feeling as he came into his Danna's hand.

Seeing, hearing and feeling his partner climax pushed Sasori over the edge into his own orgasm and he collapsed against Deidara's back, moaning low in his throat.

They stayed like that for a moment, still linked together with Sasori leaning on Deidara and Deidara leaning against the wall. Through the wall they could hear muffled conversation and laughter. A tavern. Deidara inwardly chuckled himself at the thought of what they had just done mere inches away from the bar's unsuspecting patrons. But then a burning sensation began to course through him. This wasn't good… "Danna…"

Sasori had stood up, pulling the cable out of the blond and wiping it off on the inside of his coat, reattaching the blade and coiling his cable back inside him. He was doing up his coat again when Deidara fell to the ground.

'_Shit.'_

In their haste they had forgotten about the poison coating Sasori's cable and blade. Evidently it had got into Deidara's bloodstream and was taking effect. Luckily the blond had built up some immunity to his partner's favourite poisons over time, due to their frequent arguments, but no one could become completely protected from them so in case of accidents Sasori carried a syringe of antidote in his coat…somewhere…where the fuck was it…hurry…there! He snatched it up and plunged the needle into Deidara's still-bare thigh. It would take a few moments to take effect, so in the meantime Sasori went to retrieve his partner's coat from where it had been dropped earlier.

Eventually the blond was able to stand again, and dressed himself. The pair made their way out of the alley and continued towards their inn. Deidara grinned as he followed Sasori. When they got back to their room they were going to wash all the poison off Sasori's built-in weaponry, and then Deidara was going to make sure he got hardly _any_ sleep that night.


	5. Come to bed, un

Thank you to everyone that has reviewed! I wasn't sure what kind of reception something like this would get, but hurrah!

As you might have noticed, this has now taken on a life of its own and run off to become a multi-chapter story with a plot. So much for it being a series of unrelated one-shots!

Deidara and Sasori's 'relationship' gets complicated…

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would be hardcore…

**Come to bed, un **

Once back at the inn, they stumbled through the door to their room together, mouths and hands all over each other. Sasori pushed the blond down on the bed, giving him one last, long kiss before going to the bathroom to wash the poison off his weapons. Deidara stripped off his clothes hurriedly and took a few senbon from his weapons belt. With a look of pure ecstasy on his face, Deidara pierced his forearm with one of the needles, sighing happily at the sweet sensation. He vaguely wondered if his Danna would be disappointed that he had started without him…

Sasori stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, reluctant in some ways to re-enter the bedroom. He had no doubt that Deidara would have started. Even that brief, slight pain from their encounter in the alleyway too much of a stimulant for the blond. The sight of his partner - aching, bleeding, hurting - arousing to the redhead. Sasori left the bathroom in time to see Deidara push a third senbon through his flesh, this time piercing the head of his penis as he cried out. Sasori stopped, caught between moaning the blond's name in desire and retching in disgust at himself for being aroused by such a thing. Deidara looked up at him, smiling so sincerely, his eyes half closed in pleasure. He reached out with one bloody hand, inviting the puppet master.

"Danna, come to bed, un." God, the blond looked beautiful. So needy and wanton. Sasori took Deidara's outstretched hand in his own, the blond pulling him down on top of him as he lay back on the bed. Gently, the redhead pulled the three senbon out of Deidara's flesh and kissed each wound in turn as the blond moaned in pleasure. Sasori pulled his partner up so that they were kneeling facing each other, bodies as close as was possible. Deidara moved to kiss the redhead, Sasori turning his head at the last moment to attack the blond's neck with his teeth. With a small cry of protest at the evasion, Deidara roughly grabbed a handful of Sasori's hair and forced the puppet master's mouth on his own, urging him to bite his lip. Deidara fumbled around for the kunai he had placed on top of the bedside cabinet, his fingers finally closing round the cold metal.

"Danna…cut me…please…_please, un_!" The words came breathlessly between kisses.

Sasori grasped the kunai that his partner pushed into his hand. _Fuck! _He should stop this right now, but the urge was too great. Both of them were damned. He made the first cut; a slash across the blond's left nipple that caused Deidara to clutch at his shoulders, digging his nails into what should have been flesh.

"_Fuck, Danna!"_ the blond laughed. Sasori couldn't help but smirk in the knowledge that it was he that was causing this gorgeous creature such pleasure. He made the next cut down the line of the blond's left hip, and the next up Deidara's inner thigh. Each new cut deeper than the last. The blood was starting to soak the sheets.

"What do you want, Deidara?" whispered the redhead, "Do you want me to _fuck_ you?"

The blond nodded as Sasori pushed him down on his back, uncoiling the thick cable and removing the sharp weapon at the tip. There was no teasing this time and Sasori shoved the cable straight into his partner. The delicate tissue ripped even easier this time; there had been no time for the blond to heal from their earlier encounter. Sasori took in the sight; his partner with his head thrown back and laughing, his expression heavenly, his blood running freely. Sasori started to move, thrusting and almost fully withdrawing the end of the cable.

The blond's eyes were tight shut as he was fucked. The sight was …inspiring. Sasori grabbed the kunai again, acting on artistic impulse. He continued to thrust into his moaning partner as he worked. A cut here, a word there…ah, finished! Deidara came, screaming Sasori's name as the puppet master made a last flourishing cut across his partner's taut stomach. Sasori sat back and watched, fascinated, as cum was forced to mix with blood. Deidara was still breathing heavily from his orgasm when Sasori pulled out the cable.

"Danna…where…are you going…un?" The blond asked, as Sasori left for the bathroom without a word. Deidara sat still and panting, a confused look on his face, until his Danna returned with a mirror. Smirking, the redhead held it up, showing a mirror image of his partner. Deidara gasped, "It's beautiful, Sasori no Danna." The mirror revealed the jaggedly cut words backwards, but Deidara was still able to follow them; _HURT ME, TORTURE ME, LOVE ME_. _MAKE ME BLEED._

Sasori threw the mirror over his shoulder, the glass shattering as it hit the floor. He was back on the bed, pulling Deidara onto his lap, kissing the blond fiercely. He took the blond's soft cock in his hand, stroking and squeezing until his partner was hard again. He fucked Deidara as the blond sat on his lap. Sasori closed his eyes when Deidara buried his head in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped tightly round the redhead.

Sasori pulled out as soon as his partner came again, not carrying on to bring himself to orgasm. Rocking the blond to lie back down on the bed, Sasori kissed and licked down Deidara's body, tracing those beautiful words with his tongue. He stopped to lap up the cum spread over his partner's stomach before taking the blond's cock in his mouth to claim those last drops. He mentally smirked when he felt Deidara starting to get hard again in his mouth. Well, what did he expect, his partner was young. He felt fingers tangle roughly in his hair, pushing his head down forcefully. The blond was lucky; Sasori didn't have to overcome a gag reflex. The puppet master took the full length in his mouth, using his teeth more than his tongue. The blond didn't last long this time.

Deidara's grip on his Danna's hair lessened, and his eyes fluttered closed in exhaustion as he came again. Sasori released the blond's cock from his mouth after collecting all of Deidara's cum in his mouth.

"Danna…un," Deidara's words were barely audible as he flitted between sleep and wakefulness. Sasori stroked that thick blond hair away from his partner's face and kissed him, allowing the blond to swallow the salty substance. Sitting back, Sasori studied the new cuts adorning Deidara's body, his expression unreadable while inside he felt a twinge of regret. Standing up from the bed, Sasori crossed the room to the bathroom; on the one hand to fetch a cloth to clean the blood off the blond, on the other to have a few moments alone to collect his thoughts.

Deidara was unconscious when Sasori came back from the bathroom with a wet cloth. He knelt next to the blond and gently cleaned the blood off his body, tending those wounds that required attention. Sasori caressed his partner's body as he worked, those tender, loving touches nothing like those he gave Deidara when the blond was awake. He was surprised to find that these fleeting touches were doing more to arouse him than any amount of torture and blood had. He sat back for a second, contemplating his actions. Deidara's breath hitched in his sleep, causing the blond to moan. Sasori imagined Deidara's moan to be in response to his actions. The redhead slowly laid himself flush on top of his partner; one hand tangling in blond hair, the other gently stroking his partner's face. Deidara leaned into those touches and Sasori stilled his movements. He would have held his breath if he actually did breathe.

When it became obvious that Deidara was still fast asleep, Sasori resumed his ministrations, trailing his fingers up and down that slender neck. In his mind, Sasori imagined Deidara awake, eyes closed in pleasure. His imagination got the better of him and he moved his fingers to trace full lips, occasionally dipping a fingertip into his partner's warm mouth. The redhead shuddered when Deidara reacted naturally, sucking lightly on his finger. Even if he wanted to, Sasori couldn't stop now. He moved his head to send butterfly kisses down the blond's neck and collarbone, stopping every couple of seconds to lick and nip as his imagination continued to wander.

"Dei…" his partner's name came out as a whisper full of longing. He pushed his finger further into the blond's mouth, Deidara gagging in his sleep slightly at the intrusion. The reaction made Sasori's eyes snap wide, as if he was only now realising what he was doing. He froze, unsure of what to do. Until his partner moved beneath him.

"God…Dei…" the redhead closed his eyes and bit his lip, allowing himself to believe that the blond was willing. He removed his hand that was still wrapped in blond hair, moving it to trail fingers down Deidara's chest, lightly brushing one of the blond's nipples. He wanted more, this was _new_, it was _love._ The revelation startled the puppet master. It _was_ love. At the beginning, he was addicted. Deidara was a drug to him, and the blond, writhing in pleasure and pain and drenched in his own blood, was _art._ But, that had changed the day he carried his partner half dead back to the base. It had changed when Hidan had warned him. It had changed when he spent every second sitting next to the unconscious blond as he recovered from his injuries.

Sasori slowly pulled his finger from his partner's mouth, earning a barely audible sound of protest from Deidara. He hesitated with his wet finger touching the blond's entrance. This wasn't right, but then again, what was right in this fucked-up relationship? With that thought he pushed his finger past that tight ring of muscle, beginning to slowly finger-fuck his sleeping partner.

"Fuck…" Sasori imagined Deidara moaning his name, the blond's wrists tied gently above his head. The redhead drunk in the sight of his naked, sleeping partner beneath him. Pre-cum was leaking from Deidara's hard cock, Sasori moved his free hand to gently stroke the blond's length causing Deidara to climax within seconds, a small gasp escaping his lips. The sight was too beautiful. Sasori continued to finger-fuck his partner as the redhead reached his orgasm soon after. Sasori collapsed, boneless, on top of his partner, placing a chaste kiss on the blond's lips. Deidara had fallen into an even deeper sleep. The ex-Suna nin lovingly cleaned up Deidara's cum with his tongue before lying down next to the blond.

He was in love with his partner, _not _addicted to fulfilling the blond's need for pain. Deidara wasn't his drug. He was his obsession.


	6. What The Hell, Danna?

**Disclaimer: **Naruto is the property of someone who is not me.

**What The Hell, Danna?**

Sasori had been pretending to work through the night as he usually did. Pretending this time, because tonight he couldn't concentrate through all the thoughts that had troubled him since what he had done to his sleeping partner. By dawn his mind was in turmoil.

Deidara had slept till mid-morning purely due to exhaustion after so many orgasms in a row. But he was also troubled by his thoughts, one in particular. In the end he decided he was going to have to do something about it.

"Sasori no Danna?"

"What?"

"Last night, un…Is everything alright? Just you didn't seem so into it as you have before, un…"

"I'm fine."

Deidara smiled, perhaps he had been worried over nothing.

"Danna, come back to bed, un?" Sasori looked over at the blond from the desk at the window. He had been staring out at the view for a couple of hours, thinking. He saw Deidara lying in the bed looking at him seductively, lightly running the blade of a kunai up and down his arm, although he hadn't broken the skin with it yet.

"Dammit, Deidara!" The redhead slammed the scroll he was holding down on the desk and stormed over to his partner, snatching the kunai and throwing it away. It stuck in the wall.

"What the hell, Danna?! What's your problem, un?" Deidara was confused, concerned and angry at his partner's outburst.

"You, Deidara. You are my problem." That shocked the blond, and he sat up in the bed.

"Me? What have I done, un?" The outraged tone to his partner's voice only fuelled Sasori's rage.

"Everything! It's everything you do!"

"Like what? I don't fucking understand, un!" Deidara couldn't grasp what was happening. Sasori ripped the kunai out of the wall. Deidara couldn't help his eyes glazing over in lust at the thought of what Sasori could do to him with one of those. Sasori noticed the look in the blond's eyes, and it made his fury escalate.

"This, Deidara! THIS!" the puppet master yelled, holding up the kunai. "You and me and this, all the fucking time! I can't do that shit anymore!" He tossed the knife on the floor and it skittered away across the polished wood.

"Why the hell not? You were always fine with it before! And I didn't hear you complaining last night, un!"

Sasori just saw a deep, fiery shade of red.

"You didn't hear me complaining about what, Deidara? About going along with what _you_ want? You don't ever think of what it might be like for me, do you? You couldn't give a shit how I feel about it as long as you get your own sick, selfish desires taken care of!"

"Don't call me that, un" Deidara's voice was flat.

"Why not? It's true. What we've been doing, what _you_ wanted _me_ to do, it's disgusting and it's wrong!"

"Don't you dare try to pretend I ever made you do anything, and don't even _think_ about suggesting I've been using you, un! You started this whole fucking thing, remember? Whatever it is! You could just have been using me for a quick thrill for all I know, un! But don't you _dare_ try to pretend you didn't fucking enjoy it!"

"Did I now. You have no idea what it's like for me, do you, Deidara? What it's like to see you lying unconscious in the medical bay because of me? What it's like to watch you close to dying because of what _I've_ done to you? Can you imagine how that feels? I won't do that to you anymore. I can't and I don't want to. Its not right."

Deidara was too angry to pick up on the significance of what Sasori had just said. He stood up, not caring he was naked and showing the marks on his body. "Since when did we care what was right, un?" he said coldly, and walked to the bathroom. The door slammed shut behind him. A second later Sasori heard the lock click and water beginning to run.

Deidara leant his forehead against the tiles as hot water pounded down on his head. It soothed his anger away, and soon he just felt…empty. Tired. The blond didn't recognise it, but he felt rejected. Sasori didn't want him anymore, he thought Deidara was sick, and it hurt. Emotional pain wasn't as fun as the physical variety. He stayed in the shower for a long time, not wanting to get out, but eventually he did only to discover Sasori was gone.

* * *

Sasori hadn't been able to focus on the mission; his head was too full of the argument and the reasons for it. So he ended up just wandering around for most of the day. When he opened the door to their room on his return that evening, the first thing he did was stub his toe on something that rolled and clinked. Looking down, he saw it was a bottle of cheap sake, now empty. Three matching bottles were scattered about the room, and another stood on the bedside cabinet with around an inch of liquid left in the bottom. Along with the bottles was a misshapen lump of clay on the floor and an unconscious clay-user lying on his side on last night's bloody sheets, wearing only trousers. The room reeked of drink.

"For God's sake, Deidara," sighed the puppet master as he made his way further into the room.

The man on the bed groaned in his sleep and rolled over to sprawl on his back. Sasori stopped and turned to look at his sleeping partner. "Deidara?" Was he awake?

Deep, steady breathing was the only reply. The blond was still asleep. "Why the hell did you drink so much?" Sasori grumbled out loud, knowing his partner would be next to useless when he woke up. He hadn't expected an answer, but then Deidara mumbled in his sleep.

"Danna dun' love me, un,"

_What?_

"What did you say?"

"Love 'im, bu' he dun' love me," Deidara made a small sound and shifted a bit, falling into deeper sleep once more.

'_Oh, Dei…'_ Sasori went over and lay down next to his partner. Carefully, afraid Deidara would wake up, Sasori held him close and kissed the top of his head, burying his nose in blond hair.

"Dei, I do love you. I do," he whispered. Sasori was suddenly overwhelmed by a need to show Deidara how much he loved him, to make love to him. But for some reason he felt…_scared?…_of Deidara knowing. Of making himself vulnerable in that way. He moved down the bed and kissed the blond's nose, his cheek, jawline and neck. Taking off his Akatsuki coat, he pushed it to one side.

"I love you," he murmured, licking at the hollow of Deidara's throat and running a hand down his partner's body to toy with the waistband of his pants. Gently he undid them and began pushing the fabric down out of the way as he made his way down Deidara's body, holding him close and caressing him tenderly, kissing every cut, every mark.

"Sasori, what are you doing, un?!"

Sasori froze in the act of kissing the vertical slash he had earlier put through Deidara's left nipple. Slowly, he crawled off Deidara and stood up, not knowing what to do after that. He was sure the blond would be shocked, disgusted, angry with Sasori and what he had been doing, and now they were going to fight all over again.

But Deidara was sitting up, on the edge of the bed. He looked as though he was going to say something, to express anger and outrage at Sasori's violation of him, then sighed and dropped his head into his hands. The little mouths in his palms seemed worried, and licked their owner's face to try to comfort him. After a moment Deidara looked up at Sasori, dropping his hands between his knees.

"We need to talk, un, don't we."

Sasori remained standing. "I suppose we do," he said mechanically, with his usual blank expression pasted back on his face.

"Why were you…doing that, un?"

Sasori didn't answer immediately. Averting his eyes, he eventually said, "I wanted to."

"But we'd… Why didn't you…un" Deidara rubbed his eyes with one hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. Head still bowed, he found the words he needed, "This is about what you were saying this morning, isn't it?" He wasn't looking for an answer, didn't need one. "Sasori, what's going on, un? Don't you want _(me)_ it anymore?"

No honorific, no nickname Deidara normally called Sasori. Something was very wrong between them. The puppet master sat down next to his partner, "I don't, and at the same time I do," he sighed.

"I don't understand. What do you mean, un?"

It would be so difficult, but Sasori had to try and explain how he felt. He paused a moment to gather his thoughts into order before he spoke again. "I want to do it because I enjoy it and I can tell you do too. But at the same time I don't know if I can do those things to you anymore."

"What things, exactly, un?" Deidara asked, cautious.

"The…hurting you."

"But Sasori no Danna, I _like_ that! You know I do, un! And I thought you did too, so why can't you do it anymore? What's changed, un?"

'_What has changed, indeed?' _the redhead thought wryly. Noticing Deidara was waiting for his reply, he began to speak again slowly, carefully choosing his words.

"Do you remember the mission a few weeks ago?" At the blond's nod, he continued. "And do you remember what we did when the battle was over? What _I_ did?" Deidara indicated with a slight movement that he did, a small smile gracing his features at the memory. The smile increased Sasori's discomfort.

"Dei, you almost died. And it would have been my fault because I delayed getting you to help, I even injured you more for God's sake! Seeing you lying there in the medical bay, it was…"

When Sasori didn't continue, Deidara asked, "It was what, un?"

"Awful," finished Sasori helplessly.

"I still don't understand this, un! It was just last night you did this," he gestured at the words cut into his torso, "Why don't you want to do it anymore, un?"

"You like the pain, don't you?" At Deidara's nod of confirmation, the redhead continued, "It wasn't doing it to you that I liked, it was your reaction. I liked the way you are when I do that. Now I don't want to hurt you anymore, even though I still like seeing you enjoying it. I'm afraid that some time I'll go too far and it will be like that time all over again, except you…won't wake up," Sasori wasn't used to being scared. Facing down an ambush by hordes of elite ninja was far easier than this simple conversation, but at the same time he felt somewhat relieved by talking through what he had been thinking, _feeling_.

"Sasori no Danna, I already told you I love it when you cut me and hurt me, un. I want you to do it. So why don't you want to, if I want you to? I thought you were always fine with it before, so why are you suddenly scared of what might happen, un?"

Sasori hesitated again. Then he remembered what Deidara had said while he had been passed out, insensible with drink, and threw caution to the wind. "I don't want to hurt you, because I love you."

Deidara's visible eye widened only a fraction, but inside his mind and heart were racing. "What?"

"I…" Sasori began to repeat, but he was interrupted when the blond spoke again, warningly, but showing the tiniest hint of fear if you knew where and how to look for it,

"Danna, don't play games with me, un,"

"I'm not," Sasori looked directly into his partner's eyes, "I love you," Hell, if this went horribly wrong he could always kill Deidara and no one need ever know a thing.

After a long moment Deidara's mind had calmed down enough for him to form a sentence again, "But then why were you doing things to me while I was asleep, un?"

"I wanted you, but if I woke you up you would have wanted me to hurt you again. I didn't want it to be like that, but I suppose I couldn't resist you. I'm…sorry," the redhead gritted out the last word. He meant it, but was completely unused to apologising for anything, let alone something as important as this.

"So you want to take it slow and not hurt me sometimes, un…" Deidara now looked as though something else was troubling him. It was Sasori's turn to ask Deidara a difficult question,

"What's wrong? You don't want to do it like that, do you."

The blond became very interested in the floor between his feet, "I'll try it, for you, un, but the thing is…I think I need the pain…"

"What exactly do you mean by 'need' it?"

"I mean, I don't think I can, you know, without it, un," There was a pause while Deidara carefully contemplated his next words. He was trying to put off saying them. "So maybe…we should…stop doing it altogether, un" _'Oh God, please don't say we should, please. There's no way I could just be partners with you now, please don't say you want to stop…'_

"I don't want to stop completely," Sasori's voice interrupted Deidara's internal praying. The blond gave a silent thanks to whatever deity had listened. "But I don't want to hurt you and be rough all the time. Sometimes you haven't even healed from last time before you're having me do it again."

"So you do still want to cut me sometimes, un?"

"Of course I do. I do like seeing you like that, making you feel like that. I just think maybe we could do it differently sometimes. If you still need the pain then I'll do it, but I can't take it as far as we did that time again. Dei, I love you. Sometimes I want to show you that."

Deidara took Sasori's hand in his own then, "Alright. We could try taking it easy sometimes, un."

They looked at each other for a few more seconds, and then the blond moved forward and wrapped his arms around Sasori, burying his head in the redhead's shoulder. Sasori held the blond's head, stroking his hair. They stayed like that for a long time, until Deidara pulled back slightly. He looked into his partner's, his _Danna's_ eyes, suddenly needing to tell him, to say the words back, "I love you, Sasori no Danna."

It was nothing like the rough, bruising kisses he had always given his Danna before. This one was soft, gentle, almost tentative at first, and Deidara put all his heart and soul into it. Sasori knew that, could feel it, and responded in the same way, trying to convey the way he felt for the blond in his kiss.

At some point they ended up lying down on the bed together, still in each other's arms, still sharing such soft kisses, light caresses so tender.

"I love you," whispered Deidara between kisses.

"I love you too," Sasori answered in the same tone. The puppet master turned to reach for a kunai, but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"How about this time we don't do that, un?"

Sasori could tell now that Deidara had been wrong earlier; he definitely didn't _need_ the pain. He smirked, and whispered seductively, "Call me Danna…"

This time, it was different. Not better or worse than all the violent, furious, bloody times before, but just different. Slow and unhurried. Sasori took his time preparing his partner, his _lover_, and was as gentle as he could be as they held each other close and moved together, still kissing.

As their movements grew more passionate, Sasori buried his face in Deidara's shoulder, moaning as he felt the pleasure intensifying, and bit down on the soft skin.

Deidara laughed with pleasure and amusement, cupping the redhead's face and lifting it to look at his Danna, "You just can't resist, can you, un?"

"You're irresistible," groaned Sasori, kissing his partner again and taking hold of the blond's hard cock, beginning to slowly stroke it.

Deidara broke the kiss, tangling his hand in red hair, and held Sasori's face to his neck again, "Sasori no Danna, un…" the blond moaned. If Danna kept doing that he was going to…

Deidara moaned aloud as he arched his back and came, eyes squeezed shut tight. A fraction of a second later Sasori followed him, gasping his partner's name into the pillows. They clung together for a while.

After a few moments they shifted to a more comfortable position, lying next to each other, still holding each other close. Deidara found his voice again,

"I wouldn't mind doing it like that sometimes, un?"

Sasori looked into Deidara's face, "You liked it?"

"Yeah…it was different, but nice, un. I've…never done that with anyone before, un,"

Sasori stroked his partner's hair idly, "What do you mean? We've had sex before," He might have been alarmed, but right now he felt amazing, so peaceful.

"I mean I've never done it like that with anyone else, un."

Sasori looked down at the blond, "I'd never been with anyone before you," he confessed.

"Really, un?! I'd never have guessed," Deidara laughed. Then he became a little more serious, "Danna, if I'd known, un…"

"It's fine. You know I wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't wanted to. Though I presume that isn't the case for you too?" the redhead continued.

"Danna…they don't count for me. You're the only one who matters, un,"

"I love you," Sasori told him.

"I love you too, un" Deidara replied. Still wrapped in his Danna's arms, he drifted into sleep. This time, Sasori didn't get up to work after a few minutes, but stayed with Deidara until he woke. He was smiling. Not a smirk, a smile, small but real.


	7. I'm Sorry

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

**I'm Sorry**

'_Dammit!' _The blond punched the training dummy again. Deidara was working out in a woodland clearing not far from the base. He had removed his fishnet top and his hard body was now glistening with sweat. He had needed to get away from his partner again to organise his thoughts. It was two weeks since they had talked things through, and for a while everything was fine. Now though, Deidara was realising for the first time that he had an addiction. It was making him increasingly bitter towards Sasori and he was starting to blame the puppet master for that, for not fulfilling his needs. What made the blond angrier was Sasori refusing to get into a fight, verbal or physical. Instead, he would just close his eyes and sigh before walking away.

'_Danna, you don't understand the sacrifices I've made for you!' _Deidara punched harder, breaking the skin and allowing blood to seep through the bandages round his hand. He stopped and stared at the blood, raising his now bloodied fingers to his lips and sucking on each one, eyes closed in enjoyment. With his other hand, the blond grabbed a kunai and slit a deep and bloody gash across his palm, careful to avoid the mouth there. God, he had missed this. After their talk, when Sasori had promised compromise, the redhead had become increasingly reluctant to do things Deidara's way. Where once Sasori would have done anything to see that look of pure ecstasy on his partner's face, even forgoing his own pleasure, Deidara rarely reached orgasm now. He had tried so hard to be what Sasori wanted, but…

Deidara ran his tongue along the cut and then along the bloody kunai, _'Danna…'_. Eyes still closed, Deidara caressed his chest, leaving a trail of blood down his body. He traced the words that were still visible, a small smile playing on his stained lips. Dropping the kunai to the floor, he raised his clean hand to his face and passionately kissed the mouth there, tongues entwining. The blond fell to his knees, his hand undoing the fastening of his pants and freeing his rapidly hardening cock. He stroked himself with his bloody hand, the slick crimson wetness adding sensation to the glorious friction. The tongue on his palm flicked out, licking round the head of his cock.

"_Danna!_"

* * *

Deidara was too engrossed in his activities to notice that he was being watched from the trees. The figure stood and observed as the blond removed the hand from his mouth and desperately reached above his head to drag his nails down the training dummy, crying out in pain as he masturbated with his cut hand. Itachi felt himself harden at the sight. He unconsciously moved one hand to undo his pants, stroking his semi-hard cock to fullness.

* * *

Deidara gasped as his movements sped up. He had already bitten through his lip and now blood was running freely down his chin. In his mind he pictured his Danna, above him, hurting him, back on that battlefield where Deidara had walked the line between life and death, pain and pleasure.

"_Fuck! Danna, I want you so much!" _The mounting pleasure was becoming unbearable. A tear ran down his cheek, "_Danna…"_

* * *

Itachi's face was as expressionless as ever as his hand moved up and down his length. His breath never changed, never hitched. But his eyes never left the writhing blond, he never even blinked.

* * *

Deidara cried out and shuddered violently as he came, spunk covering his hand and dripping down to the ground. The tongue on his palm hesitantly licked at the mess, becoming more confident as it devoured more of the substance. The blond raised the hand to his lips and gently teased the tongue with his own until the mouth opened and he was able to collect his cum in his own mouth. He had always loved the taste of himself.

* * *

Itachi came soon after the blond. He made no sound as he cleaned himself off with some leaves. Fastening his coat, and with one last, emotionless glance back at Deidara, he turned and walked back to the base.

He passed Sasori in one of the corridors, catching the puppet master's eye and giving him a smirk. Sasori frowned as he carried on past Itachi and to his room.

* * *

Deidara made it back to base soon after Itachi. He was bloody, sweaty and tired and wanted nothing more than a shower and to climb into bed with his partner. Sasori didn't sleep, but he would stay with the blond until sleep claimed his partner. Sasori looked up and smiled genuinely when the blond entered their room. His look quickly faltered when he saw the blood on Deidara's face and body.

"What happened?"

Deidara wrapped his arms round himself as he was pinned by his partner's intense gaze.

"I was training, Danna. I…got hurt, un…"

Sasori's gaze travelled down Deidara's body, picking up on the dry, silvery white stains on the front of the blond's pants. His expression softened, and he stood to take Deidara in his arms.

"Dei, I've been thinking. I know that you've been trying so hard to please me, and I know now that I was being a selfish prick this past couple of weeks. I…want us to reach a compromise that will allow us to continue without putting you in serious danger," Sasori stood back slightly so that he could look the blond in the eye. He pulled his partner into a gentle kiss.

"I'd like that, Danna," the blond smiled softly.

* * *

While Deidara was in the shower, Sasori went to the kitchen to collect some food for his tired partner. The cupboards were almost bare, but he found some rice and leftover vegetables. On his way back to the room he encountered Itachi again. This time the Uchiha stopped Sasori by grabbing his arm. Sasori looked Itachi right in the eye, a bored look on his face. Itachi smirked again.

"I enjoyed your blond, Sasori," Itachi released his arm and walked off, the sound of a plate shattering reaching his ears.

* * *

Sasori wasn't in the room when Deidara walked in from the bathroom, towel drying his hair. The blond sat crossed legged on his bed. He couldn't help but smile. Things were looking up again for him and his Danna.

Sasori slammed the door open, his expression absolutely murderous.

"D…Danna, un?" Deidara stuttered, surprised to have such a look directed at him. Sasori was in front of him in a flash and his small hand had the blond's neck in an iron grip.

"Don't you fucking "Danna" me! What the fuck did you do with Itachi?!" The redhead spat venomously. Deidara clawed at the hand constricting his airflow.

"Danna, please…I don't know…what…" the blond tried to force the words out. _Itachi? What the fuck?_

Sasori backhanded his partner across the face, sending the blond sprawling over the bed. Deidara pushed himself up to look at his Danna, fear and hurt visible in his wide eyes. Sasori scoffed at the sight, he was the one who was fucking hurt! He noticed with disgust that the blond was semi-hard now. He wanted to hurt Deidara – really fucking hurt him – but he wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He turned and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Deidara slumped on the bed; naked, alone, and crying.

* * *

Sasori angrily walked through the base, not even knowing where he was going, as long as he got away from that filthy, little blond whore. A cheery Hidan was coming towards him, looking like he had just heard a really funny joke.

"Hey, Sasori! Guess what I saw today?" the immortal laughed. He didn't even flinch at Sasori's glare.

"What the fuck do you want? To tell me that you saw that Weasel fucking the whore?" Hidan backed up slightly in surprise.

"What are you on? Was going to say that I saw you partner getting all hot and sweaty training and Itachi fucking hiding in the bushes wanking off to him!" Hidan was even more surprised to see a look of pure horror cross the puppet master's face.

"Oh god, Dei…What have I done?" The redhead whispered, before turning tail and running back to his and Deidara's room.

"DEI?!" There was no sign of the blond. Sasori scanned the room, his gaze coming to rest on an empty bottle on Deidara's messy bed. It couldn't be…there was no way Deidara could've gotten a hold of that, not after last time…

"_Shit!_" Sasori ran as fast as he could from the base and into the thick woodland, focusing his energy on locating the blond's chakra signature.

* * *

Deidara held the full syringe in his hand. The bottle had taken some finding – the rest of the Akatsuki were under strict orders from Pein to make sure that their personal supplies were kept under lock and key. He had always preferred it in the pure form. Deidara stuck the needle in at the chakra point on the inside of his elbow, a melancholy smile on his lips. He hadn't done this much in a long while…It helped, though. It always had, even at the very beginning… The effects were instantaneous. The lines of his chakra network became faintly visible and his skin developed a pale, almost translucent look as the liquid worked its magic. Soldier pills were fairly harmless and a vital addition to a ninja's supplies when used responsibly. This much, though, and the user was in danger of suffering from a complete chakra burnout and the shutting down of the whole chakra network, maybe even death. But Deidara knew what he was doing…

* * *

Sasori burst into the small clearing to see Deidara slumped against a tree, his eyes glazed over. Quickly, he knelt down next to the blond, pulling his partner into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Dei. This is all my fault…" he kissed the top of the blond's head.

"Danna? I'm…sorry too…I think…I…did too much…I…love you…" Deidara's words were hardly even a whisper. Sasori grabbed Deidara's head between his hands, panicking.

"Dei? _Dei?! Wake up! WAKE UP!_" The puppet master shouted frantically, shaking his partner.

* * *

Sasori rushed Deidara to the medical bay. Some medical ninjas grabbed the unconscious blond and carried him off to an emergency room, one of the senior medics shouting the names and quantities of various drugs at a group of nurses. Sasori was left to stand, alone. 


	8. Seven Years

**A/N: **Thank you once more for your lovely, too-kind reviews! For those of you who wanted longer chapters, try this on for size… Don't get too used to it though. This chapter is a sort of mini-fic prequel to the main storyline of Make Me Bleed, told entirely in flashback. To clear things up, the beginning of Make Me Bleed is set around 2-3 years before the start of Naruto Shippuden, and this chapter ends at nearly a year before that. If you get stuck on anything and want me to explain then just ask.

**Disclaimer: **Annoyingly, I don't own Naruto. The end.

**Seven Years**

It had been two weeks since he left. He was so hungry, so cold, so tired. So alone. But anything was better than staying in that place. He wasn't even very far away, but no one had found him yet. They probably hadn't bothered to look.

The boy curled up in a corner of the disused, dilapidated old shop, a building condemned by fire but somehow still standing. It was 'home' to many homeless in the area. They came and went, never the same faces every night. Sometimes new faces came, sometimes old returned. Sometimes they were never seen again. No one else was here tonight. The boy shivered, hugging himself in a futile attempt to get warmer. He was exhausted, but too cold to be able to sleep.

"Hey, kid."

"Wh-what?"

It was a man, crawling in through the gap in the boards, who had addressed him; the boy couldn't tell how old he was. He had been here before once or twice. He looked as though he'd lived on the streets his whole life; he was filthy, with stringy hair, and he needed a shave. He settled near the boy.

"Alright?"

"C-cold," the boy's misery showed on his face. He hadn't yet fully learned to conceal what he was feeling.

The man was silent for a few moments. He appeared to be thinking. Then he smiled in what was probably supposed to be a friendly way, showing rotten teeth.

"Have some of this."

The boy looked down at the little package the man was offering to him. "What is it?"

"It'll make you feel good," the man promised. The boy hesitated, but then reached for the package. The man jerked it out of his reach. "Ah-ah! I'll hang on to it, thank you! Don't want you running off with the lot…"

"What do I do?" asked the boy, after the man had shared them each some out.

"Here, I'll help you. Like this…"

The last thing the boy was aware of was a leering, feral grin, "You like that, kid?"

* * *

For long or high-ranked missions it is sometimes deemed necessary for shinobi to carry chakra-boosting powder or tablets, which are usually swallowed with water. The ninja have nicknamed these tablets 'soldier pills'. The usage of this drug is strictly controlled by the Hidden Villages. No shinobi is ever to take more than three tablets in 48 hours, no Academy student may have access to them and no genin or ninja under the age of sixteen carries them. Jounin sensei can sometimes give a genin half a tablet if it is absolutely necessary, but this is very rare. When a shinobi has had to take a soldier pill they are often hospitalised on their return to their village and carefully monitored.

The reason for these restrictions is that the drug is viciously addictive. A tiny dose will increase the user's chakra production by a small amount, enough to save them from a potentially fatal situation, and in itself is harmless when taken as instructed. Larger doses do not increase chakra production further, but send the user into a state of ecstatic trance, and too large a dose can result in chakra burnout, coma or death. Some shinobi refuse to carry or use soldier pills even though they are permitted to.

Naturally, there is a thriving black-market trade in chakra-boosters. On the streets it can be bought in two forms: the tablets described above, which are either swallowed or crushed and snorted, and a crystalline powder that in manufacture is added in small quantities to an inert 'carrier' powder and formed into the tablets. It is also snorted or melted down into liquid that is injected. Wealthy and powerful drug dealers hire rogue ninja to steal the tablets and pure powder from their various sources, and sell them on at huge profits.

* * *

When the boy came to his senses it was morning, and the man was gone again. He wanted more of that lovely powder; it had made him feel amazing, just as the man had promised. He went out in search of him.

As dusk neared he was beginning to feel faint and ill. Creeping up to a dirty window, he saw the man in conversation with another man. This man was nothing like the first. He was immaculately groomed and expensively dressed, obviously well-off, and accompanied by two other men who were also well dressed and almost certainly shinobi. They appeared to be the rich man's bodyguards.

In the blink of an eye, one bodyguard was at the window and hauling the boy inside by the scruff of his neck, throwing him to the floor.

"Well, well. Back for more?" laughed the dirty man.

"You know this child?" queried the rich man.

"I let him have a bit of mine last night. Seemed to like it."

"Leave him be," the rich man instructed his bodyguard.

"But Sir! He was spying…" At a look from the rich man the bodyguard backed down, returning to his previous position.

"Did you come here for more?"

The boy nodded. The rich man asked how much he wanted.

"I, um, about…" the boy indicated with his fingers a size approximate to the packet the man had had last night. The men laughed.

"Ten grams? Have you got the money for that?"

"I-I don't have…" cramps were beginning to grip the boy's muscles like a vice, and he winced.

"No money? Then why should I give you any? Do you think I bought this suit with thin air?!" He laughed, and the other men joined in.

"Please…"

The boy's suffering was obvious to the men, and it amused them. Except for the rich man. He looked thoughtful.

"There are other ways… I'm not interested in you myself, but I know some people who would be… Give him a gram, it should be enough to keep him in a presentable condition when we meet with my acquaintances," he ordered. The dirty man took one of those small packages from inside his coat and handed it to the boy. As he took it the rich man asked, almost as an afterthought, "What's your name, boy?"

"…Kakihara," the boy knew enough to lie. (1)

* * *

He would buy it when he had the money, and when he didn't he would get it in exchange for other things. It was a curse and a blessing, because he could still get what he needed without money, because he _could_ get it, because of what he had to do, that he was pretty.

Another night. Another grip painfully twisting his hair. Another disgusting, dirty, stinking cock shoved so far down his throat he retched. He had to stay strong. Don't show them any emotion, no matter what. Sometimes he thought maybe it wasn't worth it, but the lure of the drug was too much.

At last it was almost over. He knew what was expected of him, and took it all. Didn't spit even though he wanted to vomit. He got his little packet that night, like so many others before it.

By the time Deidara got the drug into his body he didn't care anymore where he was, who he was with, or what he'd had to do to get it. He was eleven years old.

* * *

It wasn't long after that night that once more Deidara hadn't made enough money begging and stealing. Once more yet another anonymous man came to him. But this man wasn't to be satisfied with a quick suck. He wanted more, and he intended to have it no matter what the little blond wanted.

When the man touched Deidara, differently to the others, he suspected. He feared. When the man's hands went to remove Deidara's clothes as well as his own, he knew. Terrified, his hands went for the clay he had somehow, thankfully, never quite given up carrying on him.

In his fear he went a little overboard. Deidara managed to dive out of a window as the building, and most likely his would-be rapist too, were blown apart.

When the rich man heard what had happened he was furious. But anger quickly gave way to intrigue, and he pondered the implications of having such ability under his control. Deidara stopped sucking dicks in return for his little bags of powder and began carrying out bomb attacks on the man's orders.

The rich man always knew the name the boy had given him when they met was probably false, but foolishly never found out his true identity. If he had bothered to do so he might have realised sooner that he had a skilled explosives user at his disposal; Deidara's name, though the blond didn't know it himself, was known throughout the lands as the missing-nin who had blown up most of Iwa a year ago.

The bombing work lasted several months, until a rival 'businessman' offered him an excellent contract in a deliberate poaching attempt. His boss refused to allow him to accept it, so Deidara, with newfound confidence from practising his art regularly, turned him and his organisation into a beautiful ball of fire and ash.

He got his drugs elsewhere after that, finding it easy to get plentiful and lucrative bombing work on his own terms. The acts brought him widespread notoriety. However, Deidara had learned in business dealings it was best to keep his ongoing addiction secret. So when Akatsuki recruited him at age twelve, no one in the organisation knew about it. Sensing it would be wise, he made sure they didn't find out. But now he had constant access to a good supply of powder, and he didn't need to buy so much himself. It would soon be a while since putting a bit up his nose was enough to satisfy his body's need.

* * *

Sasori frowned. It was most unlike the puppet master to lose things, but he must have done. He was sure he had had more syringes than were in his cupboard. It was now the third time this had happened. Shaking his head, he reached for one of the needles.

* * *

Kakuzu had decided to do an audit. He was looking for ways to save money, of course.

"What the hell? How have we been managing to get through that much chakra powder?"

His partner looked up, annoyed at the interruption, "How the fuck should I know?" Hidan resumed his ritual. He didn't care what Kakuzu was doing.

Kakuzu really was concerned. He checked his figures again, but there was no mistake. The amount they had been buying each month was astronomical. It simply couldn't be possible that they had managed to get through so much. He himself didn't use chakra powder or tablets at all, and he knew Hidan didn't either. The immortal had a different chakra system to ordinary people; chakra drugs didn't work for him. He took his findings to Leader-sama, who had requested to see and discuss them anyway.

Leader-sama's shadowy form stood before them. He had called an immediate meeting. Now, he addressed the gathered criminals,

"This organisation needs to save as much money as possible in order to further our goals. To that end, we do not waste money on petty items. I would like a solid and truthful explanation as to why we have been buying so much chakra powder, and I would like it by the end of the week."

With that, he flickered out of sight. The assembled group turned to each other. Hidan was the first to speak,

"Well it wasn't fucking me! You all know I don't use that shit."

"Nobody was accusing you, Hidan," said Zetsu, "As for myself, I have not needed any in some months. I have only had short missions and work with subordinates."

"I don't use it either," put in Kakuzu.

"I haven't used any in a while," Kisame said, "Except for that mission to Konoha, me and Itachi needed some on the way back, but it was only one dose each. That's hardly a lot."

Itachi indicated his agreement, "That was all I have used in over six months."

"What about Leader and his partner?" Kisame wondered aloud, "Maybe it's them?"

"No," stated Zetsu, "They have their own. They do not take it from the communal supplies."

"I used some on our last mission," Sasori put in. "Deidara, did you have any too?"

"Yeah, I did. But that was all for me too, un," the blond answered.

"So it seems we won't find out what's been happening to it all here," Kakuzu said. With nothing more to discuss, the Akatsuki dispersed.

* * *

Kakuzu wanted to get to the bottom of this, so after the meeting he had gone to the trouble of digging out the order records. But he wasn't learning anything. The orders were spread out fairly evenly between all the Akatsuki members. He and Hidan had placed orders too, but that wasn't unusual. Sometimes they would put in the order if another member or Leader-sama had asked them to.

Wait. There was a record of him having placed an order three weeks ago. He was certain he had never done so. Examining the handwriting, he realised it was a forgery. Someone other than the person recorded had placed many of the orders.

* * *

Sasori rounded on his partner once they were back in their room, "You lied, Deidara."

"I don't know what you're talking about, un."

"You said you had only had what we used on our last mission. If that is so, then explain to me why I saw you with a half-empty pack last night?"

* * *

True to his word, Leader-sama called another meeting at the end of the week. Kakuzu and Sasori had, unbeknownst to the other members and to each other, spoken with Leader-sama about their suspicions. Leader now had a fairly good idea of what had been going on, and had decided on a course of action.

"Deidara."

"Yes, Leader-sama, un?"

"Is it you who has been using all the chakra powder?"

The blond squirmed as Leader-sama's gaze bored into him. A long moment passed. Deidara couldn't lie to Leader-sama. Leader-sama would know, he always knew, and the consequences would be worse than if he had told the truth.

"So what if I have? It's just a bit of fun, un," he answered cockily.

"You will stop. Akatsuki cannot function properly and therefore cannot fulfil its goals if it has to accommodate a drug addict. You will stop abusing chakra powder immediately or you will have to leave Akatsuki."

No one left Akatsuki. You killed before being accepted into its ranks, and the only way out was to be killed yourself. Everyone present knew the meaning of Leader-sama's words. Deidara got off the drugs, or he would be disposed of.

"No problem, I can stop anytime I want, un!" the member in question scoffed.

'_We shall see,'_ thought Leader-sama, as he flickered out of sight, the other members' cue to do the same. Leader-sama didn't want to have to kill Deidara; the bomb artist was useful to him. Hence the choice he had offered. Usually he would not have given the chance.

* * *

One week on Deidara's arrogant claim that he could stop using chakra powder whenever he wanted seemed to have been true. The blond didn't seem to be suffering any ill effects; in fact he was his same old self.

As his partner, Sasori was given the task of searching the blond's property and disposing of any chakra powder and drug paraphernalia. He was doing that now, while Deidara was training outside.

Removing his hand from rummaging through a drawer, Sasori frowned at several scratches on the back of it. He took the drawer out completely and tipped it up, but there was nothing untoward. Contemplating the scratches, a realisation came to him. They were on the _back_ of his hand. He took out the drawer above and flipped it over.

Taped to the underside of the drawer were three used syringes Sasori recognised instantly as the type he used. So that was where they had been going. He removed them and placed them in the bucket for disposal. The puppet master was concerned, though. If Deidara had been injecting then the problem may be worse than they had first thought.

* * *

That night, Deidara was alone in their room, frantically rummaging through his things. He had checked _everywhere, _all his hiding places, even the ones outside of the room. Nothing. Those bastards had fucking taken it all. Shit! He fucking _needed _some, could already feel sickness and dizziness creeping up on him.

Sasori watched from the shadows as his partner ran out of headquarters in the direction of the nearby village, completely unaware of the redhead's presence. After waiting a while to be sure he would continue to go unnoticed by the blond, he followed.

The redhead caught up with Deidara in an alley. Hiding near its entrance, he watched as his partner had a brief exchange with another man, who then left from the other end of the alley. He watched as Deidara took a syringe from inside his clay pouch and opened it, drew up liquefied powder from the vial he had just bought, and shot it into a vein behind his knee. The blond slowly leant his head back against the wall as the drug took effect, eyes closed and a blissful expression on his face.

Sasori carried his oblivious partner back and put him to bed.

Another meeting was called. Deidara was now never left alone, even for a second, under any circumstances. He was even accompanied into the bathroom. By dinner the next day it was plain the blond wasn't feeling his usual self. He played with a small bowl of miso soup, unable to face anything else. The dizziness and nausea were increasing rapidly, the withdrawal sickness worse than he ever remembered it being. Only having managed to eat a couple of sips of the soup, he stood up and stumbled to the door.

He didn't make it, falling to his knees and vomiting. Eyes rolling back in his head, he passed out.

* * *

Deidara came round in a tiny, windowless room that contained only a thin sleeping mat, a blanket, and a bucket for a toilet. The walls and floor were tiled. He recognised his surroundings. The shits had locked him in a prison cell.

Prisoners of a higher rank, such as those held for ransom, or those more powerful, were held in these few rooms rather than the dungeon-like cells on a lower level. They were sometimes interrogated in their cells too, hence the tiling that enabled the room to be easily cleaned. Deidara knew there was no way out of this room unless someone let him out. It was bound with jutsus preventing any other jutsu being performed. The heavy steel door was locked and bolted, and could only be opened from the outside.

* * *

Sasori entered with a bowl of plain rice and a cup of water for his partner. He set them on the floor near the door and regarded Deidara silently. The blond was curled up on the bed, obviously in pain. He was shivering violently, drenched in sweat.

Deidara was gripped by cramps so awful it felt as though every muscle in his body was screaming. He was still so nauseous even though there was nothing left in him, one moment he was freezing and the next he was on fire, and he couldn't stop thinking about the one thing he knew would make it all go away in an instant. "Sasori no Danna?" he whispered through cracked lips. Sasori didn't reply. He stared into blue eyes, seeing pain, misery, but strongest of all raw desperation.

"I need some, Danna, you have to get me some. Leader doesn't understand, none of you know what it's like, un, I can't do it like this, it'll kill me. I just need a bit to take the edge off, just a tiny bit, un. Just one, Sasori no Danna, please just get me one hit, please, un…"

Sasori ignored the blond and left the room. As he turned away, he heard the rice bowl crash against the other side of the locked door, and his partner's scream,

"_I JUST NEED ONE FUCKING HIT, UN!"_

* * *

Sasori no Danna was watching him with his expressionless face as he writhed in agony on the futon. Itachi was there, and Kakuzu. Kisame and Hidan were grinning mockingly. Leader's partner appeared in front of the ranked Akatsuki, and then Leader himself beside her. "Sasori," he said.

Hiruko's tail shot out faster than the eye could follow, into Deidara's stomach, pinning him to the wall.

"Akatsuki cannot accommodate a drug addict," Leader said, voice devoid of any feeling.

Zetsu was in the wall behind him.

Then they were all gone. No one had been there. He looked down, touching his stomach. There was no wound. He looked up, into the eyes of a man.

It was the same man who he thought he had blown up six years ago. The one who had tried to rape him. Suddenly Deidara was eleven again, and afraid. The man crawled up the bed towards him. He backed up and, with shaking hands, reached for his clay just as he had done the last time. It wasn't there.

He had nothing to defend himself with. Rigid with fear, he tried to escape but the man was there instantly, pinning him down and holding his wrists with one hand. A tongue snaked up Deidara's cheek as the man's other hand roughly pulled down his pants.

* * *

The sound of sobbing was coming from Deidara's cell, and a voice whimpering, pleading. Only it didn't sound like Deidara. It sounded like a frightened child.

"No, please, no…stop…I don't want to…stop it…please, don't…no…"

* * *

When he woke up again, the room was empty. Fearfully, he looked all around. The man was gone. Someone had brought more food. He looked back at the door.

The room was filled with hundreds of people, thousands of them. Young and old. The children were at the front of the throng, the adults stood behind them. All looked at him accusingly.

"You killed us," they said.

"I never saw my daughter get married."

"I wasn't there when my son was born."

"I didn't get the chance to tell him I loved him."

So many voices, all blending into one.

"I'll never grow up."

"Never have a family."

"Never be in love."

"We never had a _life_ because of you!"

The adults were watching as the children advanced on him. Deidara shrank back until his back hit the cold wall and he had nowhere else to go as they came for him. These couldn't be children. Their mouths were growing into impossibly wide, humourless grins, teeth were elongating into long, dripping needle-sharp fangs, and eyes swirled red and black…

Deidara squeezed his eyes shut tight, too scared to look as he scrabbled at the wall and kicked his legs out, desperately trying to get away.

* * *

The other Akatsuki members paused what they were doing, as screaming filled with terror echoed from the cells.

Kisame shuddered, privately swearing never to take chakra powder again, not if it could do this to you. Hidan was glad it had no effect on him. They were the ones closest to Deidara, and most worried about what was happening to him down in that cell.

Itachi barely gave it a second thought. Deidara had brought this on himself, and now he had to pay the price. The other members brushed it off too. It was just something the blond had to go through if he was ever to stop abusing chakra powder.

Later the sounds kept coming back to Sasori, even when Deidara had fallen silent once more.

* * *

Deidara had been locked in the cell for nine days when Sasori re-entered to let him out. Leader-sama had correctly calculated that by now the withdrawal period would have passed. He was huddled in a corner in the foetal position, wrapped in the thin blanket, and looked up anxiously when the puppet master opened the door.

"D-Danna, un?" he whispered.

The blond's face was tired and drawn, but he seemed lucid. Both he and the room were streaked with filth and bloody vomit, the results of toxins being expelled from the body that had needed them.

Sasori used chakra strings to carry Deidara, taking him back up to the main part of headquarters. Subordinates were sent to hose down and disinfect the cell. The cheap bedding was burned.

Sasori employed the strings to carefully undress his partner and put him in a hot bath. Deidara let him, making no move to stop Sasori or do anything for himself. He was worn out by what he had been through, and was now sinking into a deep apathy. The redhead poured water over the blond from a jug, rinsing and soaking the worst of the dirt off his partner's body.

Sasori placed Deidara on the floor, wrapped in a towel, as he drained the dirty water from the bath and filled it with clean hot water. He put the blond back into the fresh water and moved to wash him.

"Sasori no Danna? I-I can do that myself, un," Deidara sounded embarrassed.

Sasori considered it. There was no chakra powder in the room, and the only access into or out of the room was through the single door. He stood up and left, waiting just outside the door.

Deidara washed his hair three times and scrubbed his skin till it felt raw. Drying off on the remaining clean towel and dressing in the fresh clothes that had been put in the bathroom, he felt cleansed in a way that was deeper than just having bathed. Renewed. He swore to himself he would do it, he would stay away from chakra powder. He never wanted to go through anything like that again. Being killed by Leader-sama wasn't an option; he was meant to go out in a glorious explosion of blazing, fiery _art_.

When at long last Deidara left the bathroom, Sasori was still waiting outside. He took hold of Deidara's arm. The blond angrily shook him off. Sasori was unperturbed. "Deidara, Leader-sama wishes to see you. I'm to come too."

* * *

Leader-sama had spoken with Deidara in Sasori's presence, outlining new rules that would apply until he could be trusted alone again. Then he had sent Sasori outside and asked Deidara plainly if he really was committed to staying clean. Deidara had merely nodded, but something in his eyes had told Leader the young bomber meant to do it. Whatever he had experienced while he was locked in the cell had deeply affected him.

Now, the artists were back in their room. Deidara was in bed, Sasori at his workbench.

"Sasori no Danna?" Deidara said abruptly, "I'm sorry for…"

"It doesn't matter," Sasori cut him off, fiddling with a joint.

"Danna, when I asked you to get me some… Thank you for not doing it, un."

Sasori paused, then set down his work. Apparently they were going to do this now. "How long?"

Deidara thought. "Seven years," he finally admitted, "I've been injecting for the last five, un."

Sasori wasn't often shocked. Deidara had only been ten when he became an addict? That meant it had been going on long before he even joined Akatsuki. The redhead moved over to sit on the edge of his partner's bed. It was easier to talk this way; shouting at each other across the room didn't fit the subject matter very well. Also, Sasori would never be able to concentrate on his work at the same time as listening to all this.

"How did you get into it so young?" the redhead asked, his years of practice and expertise concealing his shock.

"I'd just left Iwa, un. Some guy offered me some one night, and I took it, un."

"Why?"

"What?" Deidara had heard. He just wanted thinking space, breathing space.

"Why did you take it?" Sasori repeated.

"I don't even know anymore. But when it wore off I wanted more, and I got it, un."

"How much were you taking?" Deidara's withdrawal period had been bad.

"You mean at the end, un?" The blond paused to think about his answer again. "…A lot."

Sasori was silent for a while. Then another thought occurred to him; he knew chakra powder was expensive even when purchased legitimately. "How could you afford it all?"

"Well there was my pay, and plenty just lying around for the taking, un," Deidara laughed bitterly.

But Deidara had been twelve when he joined Akatsuki… "What about before then?"

"Before that I usually made about enough from bombing jobs, un, even after the boss took his cut in the beginning…"

Boss? He must mean the gangster Sasori had heard during information-gathering that the blond had worked for, before he turned his explosives on his employer.

"You usually made enough? What happened when you didn't?"

That laugh again. "I went some places I shouldn't with some people I shouldn't and did some things I shouldn't, un."

He must have been part of a group of thieves or something…Sasori knew children who had no homes often banded together into makeshift families and turned to such crimes. The puppet master moved on to the other question that had been floating around in his mind, "What happened in the cell? I could hear…" he trailed off.

Deidara shook his head and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. The conversation was over. It was plain to Sasori that the blond didn't want to talk about that part, and nothing would make him. He got up to return to his workbench.

"Danna?" Sasori turned to face the blond again. Deidara was sitting up in the bed. He moved towards the puppet master.

When Deidara was inches away, Sasori realised what his young partner was doing. He stepped back and raised a hand, preventing the kiss.

"Deidara, you don't want to do that."

The blond sank back down into the bed and rolled over, facing away from the puppet master.

"It's not a good idea. Besides, I'm too old for you anyway," Sasori put out the main light so Deidara could sleep, leaving only his bench lamp to dimly light the room.

Deidara only wanted some bit of comfort, to be close to someone for a while. He had tried to kiss Sasori because sexual contact was the only way he knew he would be able to get that physical closeness. He lay awake for long minutes. He kept thinking about those little bags of powder, and how they would always make him feel better. But he would _not_ start taking it again. He had sworn he wouldn't, to Leader-sama, to Sasori no Danna, and to himself. When sleep finally came to him, it was disturbed and full of fractured, half-remembered dreams and memories.

* * *

Chakra powder suppresses the appetite, for food and other things. Now that Deidara's body was free of the drug, he was putting on a little weight, and beginning to look healthy rather than painfully skinny. Also, his libido had returned with a vengeance.

Currently, he was sitting cross-legged on his bed contemplating Sasori's arse. He had decided it was a nice arse, from what he could tell. The infrequent sightings of the redhead's body and the ever-present loose Akatsuki coat hindered his judgement, and Sasori being a puppet Deidara wasn't actually sure if he _had_ what could generally be called an arse. Though his Danna was very attractive, he had no doubt about that. Deidara had known for a long time he tended to be attracted to men, though he wasn't quite sure if he was definitely gay. Idly playing with a bit of clay, he began wondering about the rest of Sasori's body…

The puppet master under scrutiny was improving his 'art collection', completely unaware he was being perved upon. It was probably for the best that he didn't know.

Deidara cursed under his breath at the realisation he had yet another 'problem' that wasn't going to go away on its own. Announcing he was going to take a shower, he threw down his bit of clay and left the room. Sasori wasn't listening, luckily, or he might have found it odd that that would now be the third shower his partner had taken today.

* * *

Deidara and Sasori were on a mission in Grass Country; the first long mission they had been sent on since Deidara had gotten clean. It was evening, and they had split up in order to find information more efficiently. Sasori was off goodness knows where, and Deidara was in a bar in the wrong end of the village, eavesdropping on careless tongues loosened by alcohol. And he was horny as a box of spiders.

He smirked at his ludicrous simile and took another sip of his drink. As he did so, he noticed a man around his own age at the other end of the bar who kept eyeing him. Draining his glass, Deidara ordered another, but as it was served, the man came over and offered to buy it for him. Deidara knew what this could mean, but he didn't really mind. He accepted the offer and they made conversation for a while. The blond quickly ascertained the man knew nothing useful; he wasn't even a shinobi, but a merchant in the village on business. He turned out to be a little older than Deidara, and already had a wife who had not long given birth to their first child, a boy.

When he had finished the drink, Deidara got up and headed into the bathroom. He had just finished up and turned to leave when the man he'd been talking with came in. He walked straight up to Deidara and, after glancing around, took hold of his hand and led him into a cubicle. Once inside and the door locked, he began to kiss the blond hungrily.

Deidara responded just as enthusiastically. This was what he had needed; self-pleasure had brought him relief for short periods, but lately it wasn't enough anymore. Although he would orgasm, he was never properly satisfied, always left wanting more, wanting some unidentifiable thing that was just out of reach. This was that something.

The kissing and groping could have lasted seconds or hours, Deidara had lost all concept of time, before even that wasn't enough and he wanted still more, and he dropped both hands to the fastening of the other man's pants, fumbling hurriedly to undo them and get the tiresome fabric out of the way. The man copied him, undoing Deidara's pants and dropping to his knees.

Deidara almost stopped him at first, unwanted memories invading his mind, but then the man's mouth enveloped him in warmth and wetness. It was alright, this man wanted to do this. And God Deidara wanted him to keep going. He leant his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, a soft moan escaping his lips as his hands clawed at the wall, seeking something to hold onto.

Too soon, the merchant stood up, pressing a condom and a small packet of lubricant into the blond's hand. As he turned around, Deidara knew what he wanted him to do. Leaving on the fingerless gloves he had worn to hide his hands, he coated his fingers first and set to work, using his mouth on the man's neck as he lubed and stretched him. Finally, he rolled on the condom, slicked it with extra lubricant and positioned himself at the man's entrance. In one swift, fluid movement he pushed inside.

He gasped at the feeling around his cock. It was so tight, so hot. After a second, the man pushed back onto him, and Deidara took that as his cue to start moving. He experimented with the angle of his thrusts, trying to find that spot he knew was there. Their breaths came quick, panting together and trying to hold back their moans of pleasure for fear they would be overheard as they fucked hard and fast in the small wooden cubicle.

The man let out a muffled cry, trying to suppress it. Deidara made sure to hit that spot again, and again, roughly squeezing and pulling the man's cock in his gloved hand in time with his movements.

Once, Deidara had to stop and hold himself back. Then he went again, harder and faster. He could feel heat pooling in his groin when the muscles gripping his cock clenched tighter around it, so incredibly tight, and the other man shuddered, gasping as he came over Deidara's hand. The added stimulation of him squeezing Deidara pushed the blond into his own orgasm, and he muffled his moans by pressing his face into the man's neck.

He stayed leaning on the man's back for a moment, until his breathing became more regular, and then he stood up and pulled out. He pulled the condom off his softening cock and dropped it into the toilet, tucking himself back into his pants. The merchant was rearranging his own clothes. Without another word to Deidara, not even a glance back, he hurried out of the bathrooms and back into the main bar.

Deidara didn't mind that either. In fact he'd expected it. Checking his clothes were back in place, he exited the bathroom via the window, heading back to his and Sasori no Danna's camp, without paying his bar tab.

* * *

He felt okay about the man's wife and son. He knew many gay or bisexual men married women and led outwardly respectable lives, while indulging in secret liasons with other men. The way he saw it, it was better this way, the man secretly giving in to his urges once in a while with a stranger, than leaving his wife, so she would be left in poverty, having to bring up the child alone and endure all the gossip and scandal it would bring.

It wasn't his first time. That had been with a woman, older than he. He was fifteen. She worked for a boss who had hired him and Sasori to attack a rival's businesses and men in revenge for some slight or other; Deidara was never interested in details. She had come to the room where he was staying after a bombing one night, and told him how his art aroused her, what things it made her want to do to him. In other words, she seduced him, although he knew full well what was going on. Deidara didn't think of it as his 'first time' though. In Iwa they don't have the concept of virginity, that a person who has not had sex is pure, untouched, and that losing one's virginity is a kind of rite of passage, an important occasion in life. You simply have sex when you want to, and no distinction is drawn between those who have and those who haven't. Deidara wanted to when that opportunity arose, so he did. That his 'first time' should be something special was as alien an idea to him as having sex for the first time so casually would be to someone from, say, Suna, where virginity is emphasised.

That first time the woman was fairly impressed at how long he lasted. It wasn't really a long time, but she knew he hadn't had sex before and was expecting less. Deidara knew, though, that if she had hurt him, cut him, scratched him, even slapped him it would have been over in seconds. He'd never minded pain as much as others seemed to, but it had been the previous year that he had discovered exactly what it did to him. He and Sasori no Danna had been fighting a group of other rogue ninja who had tried to ambush and rob them. Deidara had taken five slash wounds from a katana and cum in his pants.

He kept his fetish secret, thinking others wouldn't understand. Since that first woman he had been with another woman and a man, and now this man too, all one-night stands and each time he hadn't dared to ask for what he really wanted, to let them know about his love of pain. Later, he would hurt himself while replaying the encounters in his mind.

Sometimes, when rich gangsters hired him, they would send gifts to the room Deidara was staying in, little extra tokens of appreciation for his work. Usually those gifts took the form of whores. Always remembering his own past, Deidara never used them. He didn't let on, but he would always pay them, even though the people who sent them would have already paid them, and then send them away. The most he ever did was take them for food.

* * *

When he reached their camp, Sasori was already there. The puppet master frowned at the blond's arrival, "You're late. What have you been doing?"

"Just looking for some information, like you, un."

"Deidara, you reek of taverns."

"Like I said, Sasori no Danna, just looking for information, un." The blond smirked and lay down to sleep.

Sasori grumpily poked the ground with a stick. It was the first time he had trusted Deidara to go off on his own, and it hadn't been easy for him to do that. If anything happened, if Deidara slipped up, Leader-sama would hold them both responsible. Now his partner smelt as though he had spent the whole time in undesirable areas, and of something else, though Sasori couldn't identify what it was, and he seemed unusually relaxed. The redhead didn't know what Deidara was keeping from him, and he didn't like not knowing things.

* * *

Deidara woke up to find Sasori no Danna lying close to him, dangling a kunai from his finger. The redhead leaned in, putting his free hand on the back of the blond's head and holding him still as he planted gentle kisses on Deidara's lips. As Sasori moved down to his neck, Deidara realised they were both naked. He vaguely wondered when and how that had happened, but then Sasori began to use the kunai on the blond's arms. How did his Danna know about that? Oh, but it felt so good… He writhed in pleasure, moaning.

The redhead continued to cut slowly, drawing patterns in bloody slits across the blond's torso and creating such delicious sensations. Just when Deidara thought he couldn't stand it anymore, Sasori started digging the kunai in deeper as he cut, and at the same time licking at the cuts he had already made. The feel of his tongue sliding over and into the open wounds was driving Deidara mad. He was desperate, aching for release. He tried to reach Sasori, to push his partner where he wanted him, but Sasori wouldn't let him. He slid lower down Deidara's body, lower and lower until his mouth was level with the blond's straining cock, but he didn't touch it. Instead he gently scraped the edge of the knife up its length and over the head, drops of precum collecting along the blade, and only then moved to kick Deidara in the back.

Deidara woke up to find Sasori no Danna standing over him, looking down at him with that blank expression. "Get up, brat. It's long past time we were starting back."

* * *

Deidara brushed off the dream he had had as he got up and they prepared to leave. It was only a dream. It didn't mean anything. People dreamt of all sorts of strange things, and it all meant nothing. But as they walked he couldn't get it out of his head, and he didn't know why.

At last they arrived at another town, where they would spend the night before completing the journey back to the Akatsuki base. Once inside the small room they had taken Sasori busied himself inspecting and repairing Hiruko, while Deidara headed back out for something to eat.

He was sitting at a gyoza stand when he felt someone's gaze upon him. Casually glancing around, he noticed a man across the street giving him brief glances every now and then. Ignoring it, he carried on eating. Some moments later, the man slid into the seat next to Deidara and ordered. He turned to Deidara and struck up a conversation as they ate.

Deidara knew after a few minutes that the man was flirting with him, but he wasn't interested. There wasn't anything wrong with the man; Deidara just didn't fancy him. He restricted his conversation to polite, noncommittal answers to the man's questions, trying not to encourage the attention, and left as soon he had finished his food. He didn't want to keep Sasori no Danna waiting too long again, or his partner would be angry. Walking back to their room, he wondered why he hadn't been interested in that man. He was just Deidara's usual type, and the blond had been feeling randy all day since waking up from that dream, but for some reason he wasn't remotely attracted to him.

* * *

The next day, they were taking a route through Rice Country, Sasori travelling in Hiruko as usual. Since the last time he had been here, it had changed. Deidara had never been before.

Someone crossed their path and stopped in front of the two Akatsuki, blocking their way.

"Orochimaru," growled Sasori.

"Akasuna no Sasori. It's been a while," replied the Sannin, chuckling a little.

"So this is where you are now, snake," Sasori said, an aura of murderous hatred radiating from him. He had always greatly disliked his former partner, even more so since Orochimaru had defected from Akatsuki.

"Manners, Saso-kun. Is this your partner now? You haven't even introduced us. Although I remember him very well."

"You've met before?" Sasori glanced at his current partner. Deidara's face had turned white.

"Why, yes. He tried to blow me up, didn't you?"

Deidara didn't reply. His hand was in his clay pouch. Sasori could sense the blond's fear, but to his credit he hadn't moved or tried to run.

"There's no need for that," Orochimaru went on, curling his lip in a sneer, "You're a little old for me now. I have to say, Sasori, I am surprised."

"And why would that be?" Hiruko's tail coiled up over the puppet's body menacingly, ready to strike.

"I didn't think Akatsuki recruited _junkie whores_."

Sasori paused his attack, expecting Deidara to attack at that moment, but the blond never moved. He seemed rooted to the spot. Sasori glanced at him once more, wondering why Deidara hadn't attacked. Without wasting any more time, he let fly with Hiruko's tail. Easily dodging the poisoned sting, Orochimaru smiled, and raised his hands in a seal.

"I am afraid I must take my leave of you, Akasuna no Sasori, Kakihara." He disappeared in a small cloud of smoke.

Kakihara? "He seemed to have you confused with someone else," the redhead said, turning back to his partner. Deidara didn't seem to be listening. He was still deathly pale.

"He didn't die…" the blond whispered, apparently to himself.

"Deidara!" Sasori snapped. His partner jumped a little, and seemed to remember where he was.

"I said, he seemed to think you were someone else?" Sasori repeated, annoyed at having to do so.

"No, he doesn't, un."

Sasori moved off again. What did Deidara mean? Who was this Kakihara? He didn't think much of Orochimaru's comments. His former partner had always enjoyed stirring up trouble in whatever way necessary. However, Sasori was curious to know what was behind them. How had his partners met before, and why had Deidara attacked Orochimaru then and behaved the way he had when they met now? They didn't have time for this now, but when they got back the redhead wanted some answers.

* * *

After debriefing with Leader-sama and relaying what they had found out about the locations of the Jinchuuriki, which wasn't much, the pair went back to their room. Sasori remained inside Hiruko as Deidara took off his coat and flopped down on his bed, getting out some clay and considering it, trying to decide what to sculpt from it. He badly wanted to stop thinking about their earlier encounter.

He shaped and reshaped the piece of clay, growing more and more self-conscious as he felt Sasori staring at him from within Hiruko. The tension in the room was rapidly increasing and soon one of them would have to break.

It was Deidara, "Danna? How do you know that man, um, you called him Orochimaru, un?"

"I would quite like to know how you know him too, _Kakihara_," Sasori said coldly.

"Why? Is it really so important, un?" Deidara was stalling for time.

Sasori moved closer, an aura of threat surrounding him. "If you are hiding something that could jeopardize Akatsuki then it is most definitely important. I want to know, Deidara. Or whatever your name is."

Deidara shook his head and turned to leave the room, "I don't want to talk about it, un."

Before he could react, his back slammed into the wall and Hiruko's sting was at his throat, pinning him there.

"I don't care if you want to or not. You will. Now."

Deidara would have shaken his head again, but he couldn't with the sharp point so close to his skin, "No. I can't."

"You. Will. Tell. Me," Sasori growled, pressing the sting into the blond's flesh. It hadn't broken the skin yet, but it wasn't far off.

Deidara knew he was going to have to tell Sasori everything. Like Leader-sama, leaving anything out or trying to lie would only result in his being horribly injured before, if he were lucky, being killed. His mouth was as dry as the desert and he badly wanted to swallow, but he didn't dare in case it pushed the blade at his throat through his skin and injected Sasori's notoriously nasty poison.

"What is your name? Truthfully!" Sasori's voice demanded an answer.

"Deidara! Deidara is my real name!" It was the truth, and he desperately hoped Sasori believed him.

"Then why did Orochimaru call you by another?"

Deidara didn't know what to say. In the end he settled for, "My…boss must have told him that was my name, un."

"Why would he tell Orochimaru that?"

"B-Because I told him that was my name!"

"Why did you do that?"

"I…I don't know, un," Deidara's voice had dropped to a whisper.

"_Liar!_ Tell me!"

"It's the truth! I don't know!"

"How did you meet Orochimaru before today? How did he meet your 'boss'?"

"I don't know how he met my boss, un. But…"

"Tell me how you met Orochimaru," the puppet master demanded.

"Do you remember when you asked what I did when I didn't have enough money to buy chakra powder, un?"

"I do. You said you robbed people, didn't you?"

"No…" Unable to turn his head away, Deidara closed his eyes. He couldn't bear to look into his Danna's face and see the expression there when Sasori found out what he had sunk so low as to do. What he had sunk to be. "I said I went places with people, and did things, un."

"And?" Sasori said impatiently. He couldn't see what this had to do with his question.

"Orochimaru wasn't lying, un."

"What the hell are you talking about, brat? I know you were an addict! Get to the point!"

"I mean the other thing he said, un." Deidara was burning with shame. He so badly wanted his Danna not to know about this, and would have given anything for something to stop him having to tell the puppet master.

"Listen, Deidara. You should know by now I don't have a lot of patience. Whatever you are trying to tell me, stop playing games and spit it out." The redhead was infuriated by the blond's roundabout way of speaking. He wanted to know what the hell had gone on, and he wanted to know now.

Deidara let it out in a rush. "I sucked cocks to get drugs, un! He was right, I'm just a fucking junkie whore!"

Hiruko's tail withdrew, and Deidara's knees gave way. He slumped to the floor and hid his face in his arms.

"Look at me," Sasori commanded.

Deidara didn't. He couldn't. Sasori didn't push that matter. Instead, he continued with his questions,

"How did you meet Orochimaru?"

"He was…was a…"

"Did you try to blow him up?"

Inside the cover of his arms, a genuine smile crept across Deidara's face, as it usually did at the memory of a good explosion, "Oh yeah." Then the smile fell away, "I thought I'd killed him, un…"

"Why did you attack him?"

"I only did blowjobs, un. But he tried to…get more, and I didn't want to…"

With mounting horror, the puppet master remembered one particular night when he and Orochimaru had been on a mission in the Earth Country. The Sannin had gone out, the redhead had presumed to eat, and come back several hours later in a foul mood with his clothes and body covered in burns. How many other times had his former partner done this? How many times had he _succeeded_?

Sasori was absolutely disgusted. Not with Deidara, with Orochimaru. For all the terrible crimes the puppet master had committed himself, finding out what his former partner was repulsed him. Deidara had been a _child_, and Orochimaru had sought sex from him.

Deidara was growing uneasy at the long silence, and memories he had tried so hard to bury had returned vividly. He could feel the atmosphere, and believed Sasori was disgusted and angry with him for doing what he had done so long ago.

"Sasori no Danna? I… I'm sorry, un…Say something…" he whispered, without looking up yet.

"It's not you, it's him! That sick fuck! That _disgusting bastard! _I can't believe I worked with him! How the hell could I not have known?!" Sasori stormed across the room, back again, and slammed his fist into his workbench. He wanted to kill something.

"You…What? You worked with him?"

Sasori froze. In his rage he had said too much. Now he didn't know how Deidara would react to this news.

"He was Akatsuki too, but he ran off before you joined," the redhead paused a moment, "He was my partner before you."

It took a moment for his words to fully sink in. Deidara got up, still avoiding Sasori's eyes. "I'm going outside, un," he said, leaving the room.

The redhead remained behind. Once he had calmed down enough, he channelled his anger into his work, developing a new poison. It wasn't long before he had lost track of how much time had passed.

Deidara needed some time alone. He walked through the nearby woods, trying to clear his head. After some time he made one of his birds and took off. He flew for hours, practising aerobatic tricks, and only landed again near the Akatsuki base when he didn't have enough chakra left to stay in the air. He didn't want to go back inside, but he knew he had to.

* * *

Sasori looked up sharply at Deidara's re-entrance. He had forgotten that it might be a good idea to supervise the blond and hadn't followed him when he left. Taking in his partner's appearance, he searched for any of what he now knew to be telltale signs. There were none.

"What have you been doing?"

"I haven't done anything, un," Deidara confirmed in a low voice, quite unlike his usual cheerful tone.

Sasori felt uncharacteristically kind-hearted towards the blond. Maybe it was because of what he had found out about Orochimaru. "That's good," he said, although his voice was as cold and emotionless as ever. "You're doing well."

"But I want to. Sasori no Danna… I think about it all the time, un."

"You will. That's normal. It's getting late, you should get to sleep."

Deidara was tired, but he remained standing, staring at his bed as another thought returned to his mind. "Danna? When Orochimaru was your partner, did he…"

Sasori followed Deidara's gaze, and realised what was wrong. He understood.

"Get a new one."

"Kakuzu would never approve it, un. I'll just have to get used…"

"Deidara," Sasori interrupted, as the blond had been about to step towards his bed. Catching his partner's eye, he said, rather loudly and unnecessarily, "I am going outside for some fresh air."

When the door closed behind the redhead, Deidara grinned. He took some clay from his bag and made his way towards his bed.

* * *

"Why the hell did you blow up your bed?" Kakuzu demanded of Deidara. The bomber had gone with his partner to let the masked nin know of the need for a new bed.

"To see what happened, un?" Deidara was still grinning madly. He had particularly enjoyed that explosion. It was funny the way bits of fluff flew everywhere and drifted back down to the floor like burning, black snowflakes, landing in Sasori no Danna's hair when the puppet master mistimed his re-entry.

"You see what I have to put up with? Now get a new one. Quickly. Otherwise he will annoy me, and guess who I shall be venting my displeasure on?"

Kakuzu huffed. "Alright. But it will take a week or so to arrive."

Back in their room, Deidara made to fetch a blanket and spare pillow to use as he slept on the floor until his bed got there. Sasori coughed, and he stopped.

"Use my bed for now," said the puppet master, turning back to his workbench. As Deidara directed a questioning look towards his back, he added, "I don't sleep, after all, so I can manage without it for a little while."

* * *

This latest mission had gone slightly awry. They hadn't been defeated, but they shouldn't have had to fight at all. It was supposed to have been a simple assassination, _without_ a shinobi bodyguard involved. Now they were back in the their room at the inn and Deidara was dripping on the floor. He swore as he fingered a deep cut on his leg.

"Sasori no Danna, can you pass me the medic kit, un?"

Stepping out from Hiruko, Sasori took it from a compartment inside the puppet and handed it over. Turning his attention back to his puppet, he frowned as he inspected damage to one of the tail joints.

Deidara tied off the end of the thread, finishing his clumsy stitches. He wasn't very good at them, especially not on himself. He would get…_distracted_…too easily. Sasori looked around just as the blond stood up and went to pack up the medical kit, leaving out a roll of bandage lying on the bed.

"That needs stitches," the redhead said, noting the torn coat and the long gash that curved all the way down Deidara's back, "Here." He took the medical kit from his partner and removed a needle and thread. "You can't reach that yourself. I'll have to do it."

Deidara did as he was told, keeping his back to Sasori as he removed his coat and shirt, so as to hide the bulge in his pants from view. It had been there since he got his wounds. He lay face down on the bed, his face buried in the pillow.

Sasori set to work, first cleaning and disinfecting the wound, then beginning to stitch it. In this he was more skilled than Deidara, being more used to fine, delicate work with his puppet making. Just like he did with his puppets, he worked carefully, taking his time.

As the redhead made his slow progression down the blond's back, Deidara bit down hard on the pillow. Underneath it his hands tightly gripped fistfuls of sheet. Sasori noticed his muscles tensing, and assumed it was due to the pain. It was, but Sasori wasn't aware of the particular brand of pain that Deidara experienced; the kind drenched in pleasure.

It was taking every ounce of willpower Deidara possessed not to moan out loud and beg for more. The feel of the stinging antiseptic slowly dribbling across his back, Sasori's fingers probing his cut, and pushing the needle in and out of Deidara's flesh was incredible. The way the redhead was oh-so-gradually moving down to the waistband of the blond's pants only intensified the pleasure, and sent Deidara's imagination running wild. He wanted Sasori to strip him, hurt him and punish him for allowing himself to be injured, rip out the stitches and start again, smear blood over both their bodies. He wanted Sasori inside him. He wanted to be cut afresh as he was brutally fucked until they were both exhausted.

Then, torturously, Sasori edged Deidara's pants down a tiny bit. The gash extended just beyond the barrier of cloth, and the redhead needed access to finish his work. Deidara almost bit through the pillow, and almost gave himself away by making a movement and sound. Almost.

At long last Sasori tied off his neat row of stitches. But he wasn't quite finished yet. He decided to check the stitches were done properly and would hold, by running his fingers along the row. Deidara could have screamed.

Finally the puppet master announced he was finished and put the medical supplies away. Deidara stayed where he was, experiencing the strange feeling that he had just undergone a thousand lifetimes worth of sensual torment and that it hadn't been enough.

"I have to go to meet my subordinate now. What are you going to do?"

"I think I'll just stay here and rest or something, un."

Why did it take Sasori so long to leave? Deidara thought his partner hated waiting and keeping others waiting. But here he was, messing about with that damned puppet. Everything had to be perfect, everything had to be _prepared._ _'Dammit, Sasori no Danna, just go! Get out!'_

The door clicked shut behind Sasori, now back inside Hiruko despite the damage. Deidara remained still for a few minutes, but not long. He was sure Sasori wouldn't have any need to come back, and now that he was alone he couldn't wait any longer.

The blond lifted himself up on one arm. His other hand tore at his pants. After a few maddening seconds of struggling he managed to undo the fastening and grab hold of his rigid cock. He didn't waste any time teasing himself this time. He wanted to come, and he wanted to come soon. Frantically pumping his cock, no longer having to hold back his cries at the intense pleasure, he supported his hips on his knees and reached for a kunai from the holster he was still wearing.

One cut on his arm. One down his hip. One across the other hip, curving into his inner thigh. Eyes closed, he pictured another doing these things, creating these sensations.

_'Cut me…hurt me…oh God, Danna… fuck me…'_

* * *

(1): The first person to correctly guess why I chose this name gets a meat pie and a flagon of ale.

(2): Meat pie and flagon of ale not guaranteed to exist outside of the virtual domain.

So now we're back round to chapter 1; Dei fantasises about Sasori for a while before the events in the main storyline of the fic begin.


	9. We're So Fucked Up

****

And the meat pie and flaggon of real ale goes to...Symbol of Insanity, who knew that the name "Kakihara" came from the movie "Ichi the Killer", after another hot blond who likes pain. And to the rest of you...SHAME ON YOU FOR NOT KNOWING THAT! WATCH IT NOW!!!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would be Pay per View on XXX. But it isn't, so I don't...

* * *

**We're So Fucked Up**

Deidara had been in a medically induced coma for a week while his body recovered from the overdose. Sasori had been called in to see Pein as soon as the news had reached the leader to vouch for the blond's current mental state. It was well known amongst the Akatsuki that Deidara was the most mentally unstable. Once given Sasori's assurances that it was a one off incident, Pein had dropped the matter on the understanding that this would be Deidara's _final_ chance. When Sasori had taken his leave, Pein was left to muse on just why he was willing to go so easy on the blond. Again.

There were no medical staff in the vicinity of the room where Deidara was being kept. There had been an emergency earlier when a team of subordinates had come back after being cut-up by a group of Konoha ANBU. Itachi kept his impassive gaze on Deidara's gorgeous face as he unbuttoned his coat and slipped it off his shoulders. Gently, he reached out a hand to stroke the blond's cheek. He was almost shaking, his breath becoming quicker. He didn't close his eyes when he finally claimed his first kiss from Deidara, he wanted to memorise this, _all_ of this. He fisted one hand in blond hair and used the other to force Deidara's jaw open. Itachi shoved his tongue as far as he could down the unconscious ninja's throat, desperate to taste as much as possible. After a few blissful minutes, the Uchiha broke the 'kiss' and stripped naked. Slowly, he pulled the thin sheets from Deidara's body, revealing inch by tantalising inch of creamy, bare skin until he was completely exposed. Itachi took a moment to memorise that flawless body, frowning when his sharingan focused on the fading scars across the ex-Iwa nin's chest.

"Hurt me, torture me, love me. Make me bleed," Itachi read out. A look of anger passed over the Uchiha's face. He grabbed a kunai and viciously sliced through each of the words repeatedly until they were almost unreadable, blood splattering on his pale face. He threw down the bloody kunai, his expression softening when he looked back down at the blond. The metal bed creaked loudly as Itachi laid himself on top of Deidara, the Uchiha's hard cock aching painfully.

"I love you…" he whispered in the blond's ear. Itachi moved to bite and suck at that slender neck, making sure to leave a deep bruise. He _wanted_ Sasori to see this. He left another love bite at Deidara's collarbone, before kissing down to the blond's right nipple, biting and sucking and moaning till it was hard and bruised. He continued his journey downwards, stopping a while to lavish attention on the blond's inner thighs. Itachi moved to take one of Deidara's balls into his mouth, swirling his tongue over it while he grasped the artist's soft cock in one hand and used the other to rip out the catheter tube, more blood splattering over the blond and the bed. He felt a thrill as Deidara's cock began to stiffen in his hand, and took it in his mouth, drinking the blood pouring from the head and humming in pure enjoyment as it hardened and throbbed. Itachi removed his mouth after a few minutes, continuing to stroke the blond while he took three of his own fingers in his mouth, coating them with saliva. He placed his fingers at his own entrance, moaning out loud as he pushed all three in at once, thrusting and scissoring while wanking the blond off.

He heard a gasp and turned his head sharply to the door way to see a medical ninja wide eyed and frozen in place.

"Fuck off. And close the door," his voice was as impassive as ever, he didn't stop his ministrations to himself or the blond. The medic nodded quickly and backed out of the room, shutting it behind her. Itachi pulled his fingers out of himself and positioned Deidara's hard cock at his entrance, the Uchiha's flexibility allowing it. He bit his lip as he pushed himself down on to Deidara. Not bothering to give himself time to adjust, he began to move up and down hard and fast, stroking himself at the same time. He knew he wouldn't last long; the feeling of the blond's thick cock inside him was heavenly. He called out in pleasure as he felt Deidara come inside him. Itachi followed closely, ejaculating over the blond's stomach. He pulled Deidara's softening cock out of him, relishing in the feeling. The Uchiha gave the blond one last, lingering kiss before he cleaned himself and dressed. He took the kunai that was still coated in Deidara's blood and used it to carve the ex-Iwa ninja's name into the inside of his left forearm deep enough to leave a permanent scar. Itachi then covered his right hand in Deidara's blood and rubbed it into the fresh cuts on his arm.

"Now, I belong to you as much as you belong to that fucking puppet." He left the unconscious blond naked, bruised and covered in blood and cum.

* * *

Sasori couldn't concentrate. He hadn't visited Deidara that day and every time he tried to work on his puppets his mind would wander to thoughts of the blond. He knew that there was no point in going to see him – Deidara wouldn't wake up until the medics brought him out of the coma, but still, he felt calmer when sitting with his partner. The redhead packed away his tools and made his way to the medical bay. There was no-one around when he got there, save for one junior medic who had turned bright red and hurried away when she saw Sasori approach. Strange, Sasori recognised her as the medic who was tending to Deidara while he was in the medical bay. He shrugged off the feeling of anxiety that had washed over him. 

The redhead went straight to the room he knew Deidara was being kept in, the building still eerily quiet. He frowned when he approached. The blinds at the large window of Deidara's room were closed. He knew that they were supposed to be kept open so that the senior medics could look in and check on patients as they passed. He opened the door and stepped in, eyes widening in shock at the sight before him…

"Dei…" Sasori rushed to his partner's side, slamming his hand down on the button that would call medical assistance while frantically checking the blond's vital signs. A team of medics rushed through the door and were gathered round the blond in an instant, checking various readouts. Most had come straight from operating on the wounded subordinates and were still covered in blood. A senior medic led the shocked Sasori out into the quiet corridor.

"Do you know what happened to your partner, Sasori-sama?" It was a simple question, but Sasori couldn't help but think that the medic believed him to have been responsible. In an instant he had slammed the medic against the nearest wall, a death grip on the terrified man's neck.

"If you are implying that _I _did this to _my own_ partner!" the redhead spat, "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" With that, Sasori threw the medic to the ground and turned in time to see the medic whose responsibility it had been to care for Deidara. He literally tore the girl limb from limb; her blood, innards, and bodily fluids spraying over the walls, floor, ceiling, and Sasori. The screams were deafening. No-one stopped him. As a revered member of Akatsuki, he could kill whoever the hell he wanted.

* * *

Sasori sat just outside the medical bay waiting for news on his partner's condition, his head in his hands. He cursed himself. He had pushed Deidara into this position by not giving the blond the benefit of the doubt, and now this… 

"Sasori-sama?" The redhead looked up to see the same medic that he had earlier threatened.

"How is he?" Sasori surprised himself. His voice was as cold and emotionless as ever.

"The evidence suggests that your partner was the victim of a serious sexual assault. There are also lacerations to the torso and bruising. However, we can't leave him in the coma any longer. We will be bringing him round presently."

"Can I see him?" the medic nodded. Sasori entered the room, now empty save for Deidara. The blood and cum had been cleaned off him. Sasori's expression darkened when he saw the love bites, now stark against pale, clean skin. The bruises he had left when he had grabbed Deidara's neck were still faintly visible. Sasori moved to stand next to the bed. He gently removed the gauze that had been put over the cuts on Deidara's chest. The words that he had cut into his lover's flesh during that perfect moment were hardly recognisable now that they had been scored out. Sasori replaced the gauze before moving to lovingly stroke that beautiful blond hair. He placed a gentle kiss on Deidara's forehead.

"I love you…"

* * *

Pein had called a meeting to be attended by all except Deidara and Itachi. He knew what had happened; Itachi had made no secret of it to him. He had sent Itachi and Kisame out on an immediate "information gathering mission", with express orders to not return within the month. He also gave individual orders to Kisame; make sure that the Uchiha met with some sort of punishment. Pein had no doubt of Kisames's ability to literally beat some sense into Itachi. 

Sasori had to be restrained from going after Itachi and killing him when Pein related the full extent, and the perpetrator, of the assault.

No-one had told Deidara about the incident. The silence was on Sasori's orders. Deidara now stood, dressing in the fresh clean clothes that had been laid out for him. He had been confused when he had first seen his bandaged torso. He couldn't remember hurting himself, but then again he had been pretty out of it. They hadn't even allowed him a mirror. A subordinate had been sent to fetch Sasori. For some reason, they weren't going to let Deidara walk around alone. The blond frowned at that. Sure, he had slipped up…but he had had a fucking good reason…

Sasori…Tears stung Deidara's eyes as he thought of the puppet master. He didn't, _wouldn't_ let them fall, though.

"Dei…" The blond looked up to see Sasori standing in the doorway. The puppet master started forward.

"Don't, Danna," Deidara snapped, the betrayal he felt was visible in his eyes. He pushed past the redhead. Sasori turned to follow his partner.

"Deidara," the blond stopped at that icy, commanding tone. What came next was a surprise to him, "Please…" That one word stopped Deidara in his tracks. The blond sunk to his knees, sobbing into his hands. Sasori was at his side in an instant, holding his partner close while the Deidara clutched at him.

"Danna, we're so fucked up…un."

"I know, Deidara. I know."

They stayed like that until Deidara's sobbing subsided.

* * *

Deidara was allowed to shower after Sasori had made him promise that he would not remove the bandages. It wasn't that he wanted to keep secrets from the blond, but Deidara was hardly in the right frame of mind to be told that he had been raped. Sasori had convinced himself that it was the right thing to do. 

Deidara sighed in utter bliss, the hot water felt so good against his skin. Moving his hands through his long hair, he frowned when he felt the skin under the bandages pull, as if a cut was knitting together. If he had cut himself while he was out of it why didn't Sasori want him to see? Deidara decided it couldn't do any harm, brushing off his promise to Sasori, and carefully unravelled the bandages. He let the blood stained, soaking cloth fall to the floor.

"Did I…" Deidara started in shock, his fingertips tracing the deep new cuts. He shook his head. His mind was racing, but he knew he would never have slashed out those words. Then who…Deidara felt his heart skip a beat, the blond grabbing on to the slippery wall for support, panic rising in his throat, choking him "Danna…" Other than the medics, Sasori was the only person who knew those words were there. The wounds had started to bleed heavily again, but the only pain Deidara could feel was that in his heart. Water was washing blood to the floor now. Deidara stared, unable to move his gaze from his blood covered hands…and screamed.


	10. Did You Do This?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or anything to do with it.

**A/N:** Hey there, sorry this might have been a while but life is getting in the way of my writing. Meanwhile, do have a gander at my new fic 'Akatsuki Go: On Holiday'. A return to my comedy roots and planned to be the first of many 'Akatsuki Go:' stories. Also, life cannot get in the way of it, as it is finished and only needs to be regularly updated!

_

* * *

_

_Deidara stared, unable to move his gaze from his blood covered hands…and screamed_.

**'Did You Do This?'**

Hearing the scream from the bathroom next door, Sasori's heart stopped. _'Deidara…'_ Rushing over, he wrenched open the door, breaking the lock and splintering the frame.

His partner stood there trembling, bandages on the floor at his feet, staring down at his wounded stomach. The redhead instantly made to go to the blond, but realizing someone had come in Deidara looked up, and the look stopped Sasori in his tracks. Deidara's eyes were filled with confusion and pain.

"Sasori no Danna, did you do this? Did you…"

Shocked, Sasori shook his head in denial, vehemently adding, "_Never._" How could his Deidara think he would ever even think of doing such a thing?

"But… You were the only one who knew that was there, except me, un. And I didn't…Did I?" The look had changed to one of fear. Deidara was certain that Sasori was not lying when he said he hadn't made those cuts, and now he was afraid he might have done it himself after all.

Sasori couldn't avoid it any longer. The time he had been dreading had come. "You didn't do this either."

"Then who… What's going on, Sasori no Danna? What happened, un?" The blond's distress was obvious.

Sasori sighed, "Finish your shower and get dressed. I'll tell you then." He left his partner to it.

Deidara was curious to know what had happened, but he sensed it wasn't good news, and because of this he didn't hurry in dressing as much as he might otherwise have done. Eventually, however, he joined Sasori in their room, sitting by him on the redhead's bed. He waited some moments for Sasori to speak, and was about to say something himself, when his Danna reluctantly began.

"Deidara, you were in a coma for three weeks," he said, not looking at the blond.

"Yes, un," Deidara was confused again. He already knew that, Sasori knew he knew, and he couldn't see what it had to do with what he'd found in the shower.

"I'm not angry that you took off the bandages when you promised me you wouldn't," Sasori began again, trying a different approach, "I just didn't want you to see," God, this was difficult.

"Sasori no Danna, why won't you just tell me what happened, un?"

Sasori swallowed. Then, gathering his courage, he broke the news he had been avoiding mentioning for this long, "Deidara, while you were unconscious…" he took a deep breath, "You were attacked."

"Attacked? By who?"

Sasori nearly couldn't say it. Staring at the floor to avoid having to look at Deidara's face, he half-whispered, "Itachi."

"Itachi?! But why would he… What happened? How did he know about the marks you made, un? Why did he cut them out?"

"Itachi went into your room, just before they brought you out of the coma. All the medic-nins were busy; there wasn't anyone with you. I don't know if he knew that or if he hadn't planned it. It's not clear exactly what happened, but he saw the marks and cut through them, I don't know why, and he… There was…. a sexual attack."

"Sasori no Danna," Deidara said numbly, "What did he do to me, un?"

"He… raped you."

Deidara was silent. Sasori continued. Deidara didn't yet know about this, because of his being hospitalised, but thanks to Hidan's big mouth everyone else did, and as much as Sasori didn't want to add to his partner's distress, he didn't want Deidara to hear it from someone else, "And before you were…ill, he spied on you at least once."

Deidara spoke then, quietly, "When?"

"When you were training, and then later I got angry with you. Itachi said something to me, and I thought… But then Hidan told me he had seen Itachi… watching you, and I went to find you, but you had already…" Sasori blamed himself for it all. If he hadn't jumped to conclusions, let Itachi's stupid, spiteful comments affect him, he wouldn't have lost his temper with Deidara. Then Deidara would never have been so hurt as to even think about taking chakra powder again, he would never have ended up unconscious and lying unguarded in a hospital bed, and Itachi would never have been able to lay a finger on him, because Sasori would have protected him like he was supposed to. He hadn't been there…

They sat there in silence for a while. Sasori didn't know what else to say, or how he could make it better. He was about to try, when Deidara jumped up and ran for the bathroom. The puppet master could hear him vomiting, then water running.

_'Deidara, I'm so sorry…'_

Deidara rejoined Sasori on the bed. After a moment he turned towards his Danna, burying himself close to the redhead. Sasori held him.

"Danna, I…" Deidara whispered. He pushed Sasori down onto the bed, but then rolled over, showing submission. Sasori knew what the blond wanted, _needed_.

They made love with tender touches and harsh slashes. Afterwards, Sasori held Deidara close as they lay exhausted in the tangled, bloody sheets, so like that time on the mission when the redhead had marked the blond as his.

"I'm sorry," the puppet master absently whispered into blond hair.

"Why, un?"

He hadn't expected Deidara to hear. "It's my fault that happened to you. If I had…"

Soft lips cut him off. Pulling away just a bit, Deidara whispered, "It's not your fault, Danna." He drifted into sleep, and Sasori stayed and held him, and watched over him.

* * *

"What?!" 

"Sasori, you know I will not tolerate insubordination. It has to be you, and you alone. There is no other way."

Sasori bowed his head respectfully, "Yes, Leader-sama."

Leader sighed inwardly. "I don't like it any more than you do, Sasori. If I had any other choice I wouldn't do this. Deidara will be safe; he isn't going to be alone here. Now, you need to hurry. There isn't much time."

Sasori's mind was a whirl as he left. How would he break this news to Deidara?

Deidara looked up as his Danna entered their room, returning from his meeting with the Akatsuki leader. Immediately he noticed something was wrong. "Sasori no Danna, what's the matter, un?"

"I'm being sent on a solo mission."

* * *

Sasori had explained everything to Deidara, how their Leader had ordered him to go, saying no one else could do it, and how he would be leaving in four days, gone for two weeks. He had explained how Itachi would have returned before he did. He told Deidara how Leader had promised he would not allow Itachi to be alone with Deidara, or harm him in any way. 

Deidara had nodded, and smiled, but it was obvious to Sasori that he was uneasy his Danna wouldn't be around when Itachi came back, and was putting on a brave face. The puppet master was certainly not happy, until he remembered something he had seen once when he was in Lightning Country. The seed of an idea planted itself in his mind and quickly grew until, two days before he was due to leave, he went out in search of a certain something.

* * *

"See?" 

"What the hell?!"

"Just try it on." Desperate times called for desperate measures. "Please? I'd feel better."

…

"Aaaah!"

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's fucking cold, un!"

Sasori had brought Deidara a male chastity belt. It seemed to be made from steel and completely covered the private parts. The waistband was covered with soft leather, and there were locks at the sides. Apparently it was designed to not be removed for long periods of time, as there were small holes, presumably so the wearer could go to the bathroom without taking it off.

Deidara had conceded to try the belt on. It did feel (and look) a little strange, but he did think he would feel better about his Danna being away if he wore it. Also, it felt a little bit wrong, and he was beginning to like the whole idea.

"I'd take the keys with me," Sasori explained, "and unlock it when I got back. So… What do you think?"

"Alright, un." Deidara smiled, and put his pants back on. "Can you tell?" He did a mini twirl, and laughed.

* * *

It was the day before Sasori was due to return, and Deidara was furious. True to their word, the others had kept he and Itachi mostly separate, and they and the belt had helped him feel more confident about being around his attacker. However, that wasn't the reason for his rage. He was angry with himself, because he hadn't thought this whole chastity belt thing through. 

It was comfortable enough to wear, not like the old versions that were made for women, with their spikes around the openings to deter any men who might get that far. It also had enough room that it didn't become uncomfortable should he get hard. The problem, though, _was_ when he got hard.

Since Deidara was young, deprived of his Danna and more than a little turned on by wearing the damned thing anyway, it happened more than usual. Neither had he been able to remove the silver ring from the head of his cock, otherwise the piercing he had done there would heal, and the jewellery kept dragging on the inside of the metal encasing his cock, pulling and teasing him with constant, tiny pricks of pain and pleasure. However, when he became aroused he had absolutely no way to relieve it. Yes, no one could touch him there, but he couldn't touch himself either.

The first few times he ignored it, as he often had to, and it went away as usual. However, for the last four hours he had had a raging hard-on that he just couldn't get rid of. He had even tried going to talk to Tobi, but that had just been weird. It was driving him completely mad. Sasori had better get back soon…

Deidara curled up in bed and tried to go to sleep.

* * *

The bomber woke the next morning without having realised he had been asleep, and with a wet, sticky feeling between his legs. Apparently his body had taken care of the problem while he was asleep. Cleaning himself up as best he could, Deidara dressed, ate quickly and settled down in his and Sasori's room to sculpt, working on new ideas while he waited for the puppet master to return. 

Sasori didn't manage to get back until late afternoon. Debriefing with Leader took a long time; the mission had been complicated, and so he couldn't go to Deidara until the evening. By then he was frantic to know what, if anything, had happened in his absence.

When he pushed open the door to their room, Deidara looked up at him from where he was seated on the floor. Immediately the blond got to his feet and went to embrace his Danna.

"How have you been?" Sasori murmured into Deidara's neck.

"Fine, un. Except…"

"Except what?" the redhead interrupted, instantly becoming alarmed.

Deidara laughed, amused and a little touched by Sasori's evident concern for him, "Except you have to get this thing off me, un." He turned his head to briefly kiss Sasori, murmuring, "God, I want you… It's been too long…"

"Only two weeks," whispered Sasori breathlessly, kissing him back. In truth he felt almost as needy as Deidara did, and was rapidly becoming aroused too.

"Danna…the keys, un."

Breaking away from the blond, Sasori reached into an inside pocket of his coat. Taking Deidara's hand, he led him to the bathroom.

When the bath was filled, Sasori removed Deidara's clothes and his own. Then he carefully unlocked the chastity belt and eased it off, before lowering the blond into the hot water.

Deidara was already hard, just the small amount of kissing more than enough to arouse him in his deprived state. It felt so good to be freed from the belt, and the soft touches of Sasori bathing him were a delicious promise of things to come. He whimpered with pleasure and want as Sasori tended to him, looking up at his Danna through half-lidded eyes.

It wasn't long until Sasori had finished cleansing his partner, and the pure lust in Deidara's eyes was the redhead's undoing. Knowing he needed to cleanse himself of poisons before pleasuring his partner further, but unable to wait the time it would take to do it his usual, careful way, he simply climbed into the bath with him. Lying on top of Deidara, he pushed the blond's knees up and apart, unwound his thick cable and pushed it in hard, running his hands all over slick skin as they writhed in the water.

The poison that had been on Sasori's body floated off into the water, diluting to an essentially harmless solution. Still, though, it burned into the open wounds where Deidara had torn when Sasori entered him. The blond flung his head back and began to moan in ecstasy.

Sasori never reached for Deidara's cock as soon as he started fucking him, preferring to make the blond wait for a little while, but this time Deidara was already at breaking point and reached down to grip himself tightly, digging his nails into his skin as he stroked roughly. It lasted only moments, before he came into the water, calling out his Danna's name.

God, his partner looked so hot touching himself. Unconsciously Sasori moved faster, beginning to make soft sounds of pleasure himself. He never took his eyes off Deidara, watching him hungrily as he thrust into him harder and harder until he came with a breathless cry.

They lay still for a while, enjoying that post-orgasm feeling, but eventually Sasori got up and stepped out of the bath. Deidara followed his lead, and the two dried each other off.

Deidara went to bed before Sasori, the puppet master needing to spend some time ensuring there was no water left in his innermost parts. When Sasori re-entered their room he saw Deidara had fallen asleep in the puppet master's bed. Gently pulling back the covers to climb in with him, Sasori found that Deidara was, as the blond often preferred, sleeping naked. Suddenly, the redhead had a better idea. He smirked.

Deidara gradually woke from his snooze, feeling an amazing sensation in his groin. Opening his eyes, he looked down to see his Danna's head between his legs.

Sasori licked over the head of Deidara's rapidly hardening cock, sucking lightly. The blond moaned in pleasure, tangling his fingers in Sasori's hair, when the redhead began to use his teeth.

Sasori nipped at Deidara's balls and foreskin as he licked and sucked, thoroughly enjoying the sounds he was causing. They were arousing him too, and he soon decided once hadn't been enough after their separation. The puppet master absently licked around the ring through Deidara's cock, flicking and tugging at the jewellery, as he considered his next move.

Deidara writhed, moaning at the feel of Sasori playing with his piercing. His Danna hadn't approved of Deidara keeping it at first, wearing a silver ring in it instead of just allowing the wound to heal. Now, though, Sasori loved to tease the blond by licking and pulling at it. Just as Deidara felt his second orgasm approaching, the redhead stopped his ministrations and sat up. The blond was about to protest, loudly, but he didn't have time.

Sasori flipped him over and took hold of his hips, lifting them. Deidara supported his weight on his knees, to help the redhead, and once more the cable was pushed into him. He screamed, biting into the pillow, at the intense pleasure as he tore even further, not having had a chance to heal from the last time. Blood began to run out of him, dripping onto the bed. It coated the cable with its scarlet wetness, adding to the delicious friction.

The puppet master withdrew the cable fully, and then thrust it in again, wanting to hear Deidara make that lovely noise again. He wasn't disappointed. Smirking, he did it again, just for sport, and was again rewarded with a cry and a gasp of "Danna!"

Glancing around, Sasori spotted a weapons pouch just within his reach. He snagged three small shuriken between the fingers of one hand, and returned his full attention to his partner. The puppet master changed his rhythm then, thrusting hard and fast, rubbing against Deidara's sweet spot, and the blond began to move with him, desperate for more. He was soon rewarded as Sasori's hand wrapped firmly around his leaking cock. With the shuriken in his other hand, the redhead slashed three jagged cuts across Deidara's back, and the blond yelled his appreciation into the bedding.

When the pleasure began to overtake him, Sasori fell forward, his movements growing more erratic, and buried his face in the back of Deidara's neck. He gripped the blond's hip, forgetting about the shuriken he still held, and they dug into the tanned skin and stuck there. As the redhead came, he moaned, and bit down hard, tearing the flesh and drawing blood.

The exquisite pain was too much for Deidara, and he cried out, bucking as he came into Sasori's hand. They collapsed onto the bed, Sasori only just finding the energy to remove the weaponry from Deidara's hip before taking him into his arms as the blond fell asleep in sheets once again stained with red.

* * *

Deidara woke the next morning to find Sasori was no longer in bed with him. Instead the puppet master was busy at his workbench, working feverishly in a way Deidara had only ever seen when his Danna was inspired by an idea for a new puppet or weapon. It was the sound of his hammering at something that had woken the bomber. Deidara got up, wandering over to see what had the redhead running around so. Sasori jumped when the blond approached, swiftly snatching up his plans and hiding them in his coat. 

"Sasori no Danna? What are you making, un?"

"It's nothing," Sasori sounded… Defensive? No, that wasn't quite the right word. He was definitely hiding something, though.

Deidara shrugged. It probably was just some new puppet or weapon. No doubt he'd find out soon enough.


	11. Don't Be Scared

Well, this has been a fine mess. I apologise profusely for the delay; and anyone who thinks I have abandoned this or any of my other stories can be assured that I have no intention of doing so, I'm just a professional procrastinator.

So here is a pretty long chapter with another soon to follow!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto there would probably only be two episodes a year.

**Don't be Scared**

Six weeks had passed before Pein had been satisfied that Deidara was not suffering from a relapse. New rules had had to be imposed; Itachi and Deidara were never to be left alone together or sent out on solo missions at the same time. The new rules were for Itachi's protection as much as Deidara's, and an uneasy peace had settled between Itachi and the other members; there had been assurances that it would not happen again. Sasori was not trusted to be even in the same room as Itachi without at least two other members being present.

Sasori was on his way back to his room after a briefing from Pein; Deidara had been declared operational two days earlier, and the two were to leave on a mission. He passed the room that used to belong to Itachi and Kisame – the two were moved to a different part of the base to keep the Uchiha as far from Sasori as possible. The room now belonged to Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Oi, fucker!" Sasori sighed, not in the mood to deal with the Jashinist,

"What?"

"No need to sound so fuckin' pissed! Heard you were gettin' the mission to Lightnin'. Fuckin' lucky bastard, fancied that one for myself," the immortal laughed.

"Why would you want that job, you hate bounty retrievals?"

"Fuck the fuckin' mission! Lightnin's got the fuckin' Viper Lounge!"

"The what?"

"Fuck, you and Dei are fuckin' amateurs! Here, take Blondie for a bit of fun. Ask for Magenta, tell her that Hidan sent you. Maybe you can learn a few things," Hidan passed the redhead a business card – the silhouette of a snapping viper stood stark on the brilliant white card – and strode off to the kitchen.

* * *

"There's just something about you, brat," Sasori entered their shared room, mission scroll in hand. Deidara was sitting cross-legged on the floor packing fresh clay into his bags.

"What's that, Danna?"

"Pein gave us a mission – bounty retrieval. Said he didn't want you to be pushed too hard."

Deidara raised an eyebrow; this was not his or Sasori's line of work, the two mainly dealt with infiltration and assassination. Bounty retrieval was always seen as an easy ride, "So what's the LRD?"

"Two weeks."

"Seriously?!"

Sasori could not help but smile, "Seriously."

* * *

The mission had been child's play for the two; the contact had been located after the minimum of observation and money had exchanged hands without incident. It had taken them to the furthest reaches of Lightning Country, and within six days the mission was complete.

Deidara was restless, having had no opportunity to use his art. Sasori had understood and the two had travelled slowly back to the Cloud Village – taking roads rarely used by travellers and passing through small settlements – allowing the blond to kill and maim as much as he desired. Sasori had joined in, and the two had cleaved a bloody path back to the capital. They had arrived earlier that day, not needing to disguise their identities as politics in Cloud currently supported the Akatsuki's goals. The redhead had calculated that after allowing for travelling time they could afford to spend six days in Lightning. He had checked them into a large guest house with plenty of other customers; Akatsuki may be tolerated in Cloud, but it was always best policy to try not to attract too much attention.

Deidara had needed refreshments, and now the two were sitting in a small tea shop; their straw hats obscuring most of their faces from view. Sasori was observing a black haired woman seated behind Deidara. A small tattoo of a snapping viper was visible on her right temple. She seemed oblivious to the redhead.

"Sasori-no-Danna?" Deidara asked for the third time. Getting no response the blond turned his head, curious as to what had his partner so entranced. He felt his stomach drop sickeningly at the sight of a beautiful young woman. He turned back to Sasori before lowering his gaze to the table, "…un."

* * *

Sasori flopped down on the bed, twirling the business card Hidan had given to him in his fingers. The redhead was lost in thought and had been since spotting the woman in the tea shop; he had completely forgotten about the card until then.

"Just what is this?" he mused aloud. There was no answer to his question – Deidara had gone straight to the bathroom for a shower. Sasori frowned, realising that the blond had seemed a bit down when they had left the tea shop. Hidan had said it would be fun for the blond, hadn't he? Sasori nodded to himself and stood up; if it would cheer up his partner he would find out what this "Viper Lounge" was. He knocked on the bathroom door loud enough to get Deidara's attention, "Dei? I'm going out for a little while, I won't be long."

Deidara paused in the process of washing his hair, "Oh, okay Danna. I love you!" He called the last part out almost desperately. He waited for his lover to return the sentiment, but instead heard only the sound of the door to the corridor closing and locking. Deidara choked up as he tried his hardest to stop the tears from falling.

* * *

It had not taken Sasori long to locate the woman from the tea shop, and he had now been following her at a discreet distance. One thing that he had learned was that she was certainly not ninja, neither were the other people he had briefly spotted sporting the viper tattoo. He had followed her into the red light district – a bustling neighbourhood that Sasori noted seemed popular with tourists and visiting shinobi. It was still daylight, so Sasori waited until the woman took a turn down an empty side street before making his move. She gasped and spun round as her wrist was grabbed from behind.

"I'm not here to hurt you, I was given this," he held up the card for the frightened woman to see. The effect was instant as the woman visibly relaxed.

"Sir, I apologise – you startled me," she bowed low, eyes resting on his cloak as she stood, "Akatsuki?"

"Hidan sent me to see Magenta. Is that you?"

"No, Sir; but I can take you to see her," she bowed again, gesturing for Sasori to follow her. He didn't have long to wait – the woman took him to what looked like an abandoned store house; it was several stories high and built in a style that hadn't been in fashion for around a century. The windows were boarded up and only a single door of fortified steel could be seen from the street. The woman knocked clearly three times and waited until a small spy hole in the door was slid open. A few brief words were exchanged in what Sasori guessed were a series of passwords before the spy hole was closed and the sound of locks opening and bolts sliding could be heard. The woman stood aside allowing Sasori to enter first, where he was greeted by a lechery old man with a perverted grin rubbing his hands and bowing. The redhead paid him one disgusted glance as he began following the woman once more.

The first thing he had noticed – besides the old pervert – was the smell; a flowery scent like perfume, sickly sweet pervaded the air. He wrinkled his nose as he identified the undertones it was obviously the perfumes purpose to disguise; blood, piss, vomit, shit, sex and a few others he could not identify. The corridor they were walking down was bare and lit with occasional buzzing lightbulbs, however when they reached a velvet curtain which the woman drew aside for him, the transformation could not have been more stark. Where there had at once been silence upon the other side of the curtain there was now screaming and moaning and soft laughter all around him; the smell had changed too, the perfume becoming heady, almost overpowering; he could almost feel a tingle against his hard skin – his body trying to remember how to shiver; the taste of the air, where suddenly the perfume was inside him as well as all around him; and the sight – deep, rich colours and paintings on the walls that were both perverse and beautiful.

They were walking again – down another corridor then up stairs, then the process repeated. They passed doors on each side – some closed, others open where the acts of pleasure being acted out inside were clearly visible. Through one open door they had just passed Sasori witnessed a naked middle aged man was licking a filthy toilet clean; through another he saw a trussed up woman crying and moaning as sharp skewers were pushed through her bare breasts by a woman dressed and masked in rubber; through a third door, an overweight and gagged man was having his cock crushed in a vice. Sasori gave them all a passing glance as he continued to follow the woman.

While a civilian would no doubt have been disorientated by the twists and turns they had taken, Sasori had mapped out in his mind exactly where he was in relation to the outside street in case any surprises should come his way. They had come to a halt outside a red door – two hired heavies that had possibly once been shinobi before they got fucked on chakra powder – stood either side of the door. Sasori had calculated that they were on the fourth floor towards the back of the building that overlooked another street that he knew was made up mostly of cheap hotels and sex shops. Again, passwords were given before one of the men disappeared behind the door. He returned with a nod, holding the door open for Sasori to enter alone.

A woman he judged to be in her sixties was seated behind an impressive mahogany desk; she was glamorous in black and diamonds.

"Akasuna no Sasori," she drew the words out with a seductive smile.

"Magenta," he was not surprised that she knew his name. Sasori gave nothing away as the woman continued to smile at him for a number of minutes, trying to reach some sort of private decision. Eventually, it seemed that she had.

"Bitch!" a naked man in a latex gimp mask emerged from behind a velour drape, "Bring refreshments." The man bowed low and backed out of the door. Magenta turned back to Sasori, "Tea, Akatsuki-sama?"

"Please," he saw no reason to refuse her, and tea was one of the few human pleasures he was able to enjoy – his sense of taste was intact, and his body could easily be drained of small amounts of liquid. Magenta moved from her desk to recline on a chaise, she gestured to the matching piece of furniture opposite. Sasori sat as the man in the latex mask re-entered. He placed the silver tray he had been carrying down on an occasional table and poured two cups of mint tea. Without a word, he left the room once again. They both took a sip of their drink.

"And now to business, perhaps?"

"I do not - ˮ Magenta silenced him with a small laugh,

"Hidan told me everything," she pulled down her plunging neckline even further revealing a faded tattoo of a Jashinist symbol, "we fellow disciples like to keep in touch, and this is one of the few places our kind can come to engage in sexual intercourse with a member of the Jashinist priesthood. Now, Hidan tells me you are in need of some…_tuition._"

* * *

Deidara ambled slowly through the winding streets heading towards the brightly lit area around the docks. Though he wasn't familiar with Cloud, he wasn't walking slowly because he was lost; Deidara knew as well as anyone that every city has its shopping districts and residential areas as well as its red light districts and drug dens. Rather, he still wasn't sure if he wanted to reach his destination. It was all that fucking drug's fault, but damn it if it didn't always dull the pain. He choked back a sob as his mind turned to thoughts of Sasori; Deidara had sat at the window in their room for two hours watching the street below for any sign of the red head. Had he finally pushed his lover away? Life without Sasori was not a life Deidara could even contemplate. That was why now he was looking for a fix; fuck Sasori, fuck Pein, fuck Itachi, and fuck Akatsuki.

Once he reached the docks it wasn't hard to locate a dealer, and now the blond was in the process of buying a large amount of black-market powder

"Back so soon? You got some money this time or do I gotta take you to see my friend again?" The man smirked.

Deidara paused in his money counting to see who the dealer was talking to; a small, skinny blond boy had a tight hold of the dealer's sleeve. The child's eyes were sunken with thick dark rings around them,

"Please, mister, I…I need some. I'll do anything…"

Deidara froze in place as the child turned his haunted eyes on him. It felt like hours passed before the blond could break the child's gaze. He knelt down to be level with the boy,

"I'll get you what you need; wait for me around that corner." The child nodded in understanding and scampered away. Deidara turned back to the greasy dealer, eyes narrowed, "You sell powder to kids? What if they can't pay?"

The man shrugged, "There's other ways a pretty little boy like that can-ˮ the man's sentence was cut short as he gurgled on a mouthful of blood, his lifeless corpse crumpling to the ground. Deidara took a deep breath to calm his anger and rounded the corner in search of the little boy, kunai hidden behind his back,

"Don't be scared, kid. I can help you."

The boy crawled out from his hiding place behind some dirty bins.

* * *

It had been quick, but messy. Deidara stared impassively down at his hands as he washed the child's blood from them. He wasn't sad and didn't feel any remorse for taking that innocent boy's life; as far as Deidara was concerned, the boy was far better off dead. Afterwards, he had gone back to the dealer's body and searched it for drugs. He had taken the whole supply and dumped it into the dock. All this time he had assumed it was only himself he had been hurting with his addiction; now, after somewhat of an epiphany, he finally understood. He had been hurting everyone who had ever cared (in some way or another) about him; Hidan, Konan, Pein…Sasori…And through every ounce of that poison he had paid for, he had been supporting the business of the kind of scum that would sell a child's body.

He dried his hands and wandered back in to the bedroom…to be grabbed from behind, a leather-gloved hand covering his mouth. A sharp prick in his neck followed.

'_Poison!' _Was Deidara's last thought as his vision faded to black.

* * *

GOOD GOD! Poor Deidara, what could possibly happen to him now?! Expect more Dei abuse to follow.


End file.
